Page 95 of His Sassy Omega
He stared at me a full minute, then muttered, “I’m not sure how I feel about this.”
I ducked my head again, and laid it gently on his stomach, just feeling him and our pups. I needed to feel him, breathe him in, touch him in some way. One of his hands came up and threaded gently through my tangled hair.
He shuddered a breath in, then whispered, “I was so scared I was losing them tonight.”
I couldn’t look at him just yet, my eyes burning. I swallowed hard, and my jaw tightened. I nodded my head a little against the mound that housed our pups.
“I wasn’t even sure how I felt about them, you know?” he continued, and I nodded again. I did know. I knew he was still coming to terms with all the changes that had happened to both of us, in a few short months.Things had moved too fast for us, in ways neither of us had been prepared for, but he was trying, and I appreciated that.
Though there were days I still felt like I wanted him much more than he wanted me. I knew it, but I didn’t care. Because I did want him. All of him. I wanted our babies, and I wanted my mate, and I wanted to claim him as mine, and I didn’t care about any of the rest of it.
“Then I saw the blood all over the bed, and there seemed to be so much of it, and I was terrified. I thought we were losing them, and I couldn’t process the loss I was feeling. I want them, it hit me at that moment, how much I absolutely want them, and I was terrified.”
I felt his hand move from my hair, and I turned my head to see him wipe at his eyes. I sat up and turned to face him, my hand cupping his jaw.
My throat constricted again at his use of ‘we’ instead of ‘I’, when he described how he’d felt. Something seemed to have shifted within Quinn, and I couldn’t explain it, but I felt closer to him at this moment. As if he’d finally let go of whatever part of him he had still been holding back, and was ready to let me in.
“I was terrified too.” My voice was husky, low, and raw with emotion. “Not of losing them. I mean, I was, but that’s not what scared me the most. I was terrified of losing you.”
Quinn stared at me hard, and I didn’t look away from his questioning gaze. Didn’t loosen my grip on his jaw. I wanted him to see me. I didn’t want him to be able to turn away, and I needed him to hear me.
“I saw the blood, and I thought I was losing you, and I couldn’t breathe. For a second, I couldn’t breathe, or move, or think. I love these pups, I do. I already love them, but the thought of losing them didn’t frighten me as much as the thought of losing you. There isn’t a choice for me.” I took a deep, staggering breath. “If it comes down to a choice between saving you or our pups, I choose you. I will choose you. Every single time.”
He touched my face then, feather-light and almost unsure, even though he’d touched me so many times before. This was somehow different. There was something in his eyes, some emotion that he wasn’t quite comfortable with yet, but he was close.
I didn’t care if he was ready. Not anymore. I was done waiting. Tonight had been one of the worst experiences of my entire life. It had been horrifying, gut-wrenching, eye-opening, and terrifying.
“I love you,” I told him, not looking away. “I love you, Quinn Rafferty, and I know you don’t love me. Not yet, but that’s okay. You will one day, and I’ll wait for that day. I love everything about you, and you’re mine.”
“I’m not what you want.” He stated it so quietly, I barely heard the words.
Were we back to this argument again? I’d thought we’d gotten past this. It dawned on me, like a light bulb going off, that this was the reason I felt Quinn was not quite fully committed to our relationship. He was still waiting for me to leave him for…whatever I’d thought I’d wanted before falling head over heels for him. Silly omega.
“You are what I want,” I said, a fierceness in my voice. There was no denying how I felt. “Maybe you weren’t what I thought I wanted, but I didn’t have any sense then.”
He laughed at me, but it was a shaky, watery laugh.
“I love your sassy mouth and your independence. I love that you don’t need an alpha. I’m aware that if you didn’t want to be with me, you damn straight wouldn’t be. I love your snark, and your humor, and your kind heart. I love your emerald eyes, and your lush mouth, and this wild hair of yours.” I gave him a saucy grin. “Don’t get me started on that ass of yours.”
I continued, because why the hell not? I didn’t have anything to lose. “I love that big, complicated brain of yours, and Goddess, do I love the things you bake. I love the way you smell, like a warm chocolate chip cookie,cinnamon roll mix on a cold, winter day. I love the way you kiss me like you’re the one in charge of it all. Which you pretty much are. And I love when you take charge in the bedroom, I love that a lot. So much.”
He laughed at that, a real laugh this time.
“You’re the whole package, Quinn. My whole package, and I love you.” I placed my hand over his baby mound again. “I love that you are carrying our pups, and how absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful you look doing it.”
“I love you, and I’ll be here when you realize you love me, too.” I didn’t expect him to say the words back, and he didn’t surprise me by whispering his undying love.
I was willing to wait.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Quinn
Lachlan was sleeping soundly beside me, his face showing the exhaustion the night before had caused him. The sun was shining high in the sky outside, natural light streaming into the bedroom. I was exhausted, but strangely wide awake. His declarations a few hours ago were playing in my mind, on an endless loop I couldn’t seem to stop.
I made my way quietly down the stairs, extra careful and holding onto the banister. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be out of bed, except for bathroom breaks, but I needed a minute just to myself.
I cautiously, and oh so slowly, made my way to the library. Sliding across the sofa, I arranged some throw pillows under my legs, to elevate my feet. I loved this room, more than any room in the house, even the kitchen.
