Page 62 of His Sassy Omega
It was cruel and it wasn’t fair.
Because I did want kids.
I wanted them badly. And I felt like I was running out of time. I didn’t want to be like my own father. Waiting until past my prime to take a mate, finding someone in the youth of their life, and fathering children, only to drop dead ten years later. Leaving them alone to grow and learn, without my guidance and love.
No, I wanted pups. A couple of them. I wanted to know them, play with them, and watch them grow. I wanted to see myself in a child. I wanted to bounce a grandchild on my knee. I wanted diapers, two a.m. feedings, and all that came with it. I wanted to see my mate grow round with our pup, to feel them moving inside him.
Now my omega, because that is what Quinn was, he was mine, was standing before me saying he didn’t want that at all. He didn’t want what I wanted. He didn’t want a child.
I watched as tears filled his eyes, those green gems sparkling brightly in the lights of my office.
He stamped his foot. Actually stamped his foot, like a child having a tantrum.
“Don’t do that!” he wailed, his hands moving wildly in the air. “Don’t say that! Don’t say what you think I want to hear! Or what you think will make this work! Tell me how you feel! What you want! Tell me if this is a deal-breaker, so I can go cry in peace and let you go. Letthis –whatever the fuckthisis – go, and get on with my life.” He swiped angrily at the tears that fell from his eyes and slid down his cheeks.
It took everything in me to stay rooted to my spot across from him. A desk and chairs and table between us. To keep my hands behind me,wrapped around the doorknob. I did flip the lock. I didn’t want to be interrupted. Because seeing my mate, my strong mate, with tears streaking down his face, was killing me. More than that though, I locked the door because we didn’t need an audience for the things that were going to be said.
Because this was going to be loud, ugly, truthful, and raw. It didn’t need to be shared with my office.
“I feel like you just punched me in the gut,” I finally said, and his head shot up. His eyes didn’t blink as he stared at me. He seemed shocked that I was doing just as he’d wanted. I was telling him the truth of how I felt.
“You wanted to know how I feel right now. That’s how I feel. I feel like I can’t breathe. I feel like Fate is a fucking bitch! I feel like my dreams just got ripped out from under me.”
I didn’t care when Quinn hunched his shoulders, and his arms wrapped around his stomach, and he gulped in a harsh gasp of air. He wanted to know the truth of how I felt, so he was going to hear it. I wasn’t going to stifle myself and say what I thought he wanted to hear. I wasn’t going to say it quietly, with proper words and manners.
“I feel like I want to say it’s fine, to lie and tell you I’m okay if we do or don’t have kids, when I don’t feel that way at all. I feel like I want to tell you that maybe you will change your mind, down the road, in a few years. But that’s shitty, and I wouldn’t want someone to do that to me, so I’m not going to say any of that. I’m not going to stand here and lie to you. Not about this. Never about this.” I took a ragged breath in through my nose, then let it out. “And I don’t think you want me to.”
He was still hunched over, looking at the floor, and I could see his tears falling, hitting the carpet and leaving a wet mark where they landed. He looked fragile and vulnerable, like he was perhaps going to break. It was sounlike Quinn that it rocked me to my core. It was at that moment, that it hit me like a ton of bricks, and Iknew.
Knew everything Quinn hadn’t said to me, couldn’t say yet, but Iknew. Knew it like I knew my own name, or that my eyes were blue, or that I was tall. It filled my senses, my cells, my being.
Quinn was not the type of omega to cry. He wasn’t the type to be physically upset by an alpha who wanted something he didn’t.
Quinn wouldn’t be upset by any of this if he didn’t feelsomethingfor me. Something besides lust and pheromones. Quinn would walk away from anyone, without it even upsetting his day. The man had woken me up from a dead sleep, just to tell me I had to leave, so that he could sleep alone.
Fate didn’t make mistakes, and she’d decided that Quinn was mine.
There was a reason behind it, even if it seemed like it was doomed already, in these very early stages.
“Look at me,” I ordered, using my alpha voice. I hated using it, and I hated doing that to him, but I felt it was the only thing that was going to make him obey me. When he stubbornly refused to do as I asked, I shook my head. “Look at me,” I ordered with just enough alpha bite, that he didn’t have a choice but to obey me this time.
“I’m not going to ask you to change your mind. I need time to figure out my feelings on this subject. I’m not saying I’m going to change my mind either, but I need time to figure things out. To figure me out. I feel like everything I’ve ever thought I wanted was what my dad wanted, and not what I truly want.” I owed it to Quinn to think long and hard about whether I would change my mind on this matter. “I know this thing has been fast between us, but I – “
“Fated mates,” Quinn mumbled, but I wasn’t sure I’d heard him correctly.
“What?” He’d not even let me say the words out loud before this, and he certainly hadn’t wanted to discuss the possibility.
“Fated mates. It happens fast with fated mates. They call it 'insta-love’. I don’t know if I’d call what’s happening between us love, but that’s why it’s all happening so fast.” He sounded resigned to it, if a bit annoyed. I was just glad he was sounding more like himself. His tears had freaked me out, I wasn’t ashamed to admit.
He scuffed at the carpet with his purple Vans. “I’ve been googling.”
He’d been googling? Was that even a word? It almost sounded like a made-up Wade word.
“You believe me, then?” I needed to hear him say the words.
“I think it’s a possibility.” He sighed, and that was definitely annoyance I’d heard. I ducked my head, hiding a smile that threatened to take over my face. God forbid he outright admitted he felt it too, or that I had been right.
“What did your googling tell you?”
