Page 28 of His Innocent Omega
Finally giving in to my failure as a parent, I had requested a bottle of formula for Julianna. My nurse had smiled sympathetically, but I had seen her wincing at the sheer volume of Julianna’s wailing. She’d given a short nod, said she would send in the lactation specialist and be back with a bottle, before hurrying out. She’d probably stopped to swallow some ibuprofen along the way.
Rocking Julianna in my arms from my hospital bed, I used the most soothing voice I could manage. Begging her to please, please, for the love of the Goddess, to stop crying. This couldn’t possibly be good for her. She’d been crying for hours. The more I rocked and tried to soothe her, the more she screamed, her tiny body rigid yet wiggly in my arms.
The door opened and I looked up through my tear-stained eyes, hoping it was my nurse returning with a bottle. A stern looking alpha marched briskly forward, looking displeased with me. Her voice was strong as she nearly had to shout to be heardover the baby. “I hear we’ve already given up on chest feeding. You know that chest feeding is the best thing for your pup, correct? So, let’s try this again, shall we?”
She scooped Julianna from my arms, expertly positioning her against my nipple. Wincing as the baby latched on, my entire body tensed as she took a tentative suck, then another. Realizing she still wasn’t getting anything for her efforts, Julianna practically spat out my nipple and went back to screaming the walls of the hospital down.
“I asked for a bottle.” My voice sounded as defeated as I felt. I’d had such grand plans of nursing my baby until she was at least a year old. Another plan of mine down the drain. Neither my body nor Julianna was cooperating. And I didn’t have the energy to fight about it. My baby was hungry and needed to be fed. Period. And this woman’s attitude and tone were making me feel worse than I already did.
“You stated on your intake that you wished to chest feed.” Her lips were pursed together in displeasure, and she might as well have been tapping her foot at me.
Frustrated, I swiped at a tear, feeling the dampness of my face. I had been crying off and on with Julianna the entire afternoon. My eyes felt swollen and gritty, I was sweaty, in pain, tired and hungry.
“I did. I do.” Stammering, I took a shallow breath, trying to steady myself. “But it’s not working. My milk hasn’t come in, and my omega dad had the same issue. I’m going to need to bottle feed.”
“Let’s try one more time, shall we?” The alpha reached for Julianna again, and I held her tightly to my chest.
“I’ve been trying for the last three hours. I’m done trying. I asked for a bottle.” My voice was firmer than a minute ago, butI could still hear the shakiness in it. Julianna rubbed her little nose against my bare chest, her tears making a wet spot on me. Rubbing a hand in circles over her tiny back, I soothed her the best I could.
“Once more won’t hurt.” She brought her hands toward Julianna and I shrank away from her, turning away slightly to keep my baby from her clutches. My stitches pulled at the movement and I winced.
“I said no!” I hadn’t meant to shout, but I was overwhelmed with emotions and the strong urge to keep my child away from this woman.
“What’s going on in here?”
Grayson’s deep voice vibrated through the room, startling me and the lactation specialist, who spun around, wide-eyed. Neither of us had heard the door opening or the click of his sturdy boots.
Striding briskly forward, he side-stepped the other alpha, reaching for the still screaming baby with steady hands. Our eyes locked, and something washed over me. Warmth. Relief. Trust. Giving a brief nod of my head, he gently took Julianna from me.
Cradling the baby in his arms, he traced her lips with the pinky of his free hand and she immediately latched on and began sucking. The silence that filled the room was both a blessing and a curse.
Because of course he had gotten her to miraculously stop crying. He had immediately just known what to do, like he was some kind of alpha baby whisperer. I had a degree in early childhood development, but I hadn’t thought to even use my finger as a mollifier, like a pacifier. Or a pseudo nipple.
The feelings of inadequacy that had plagued me for hoursflooded me and my tears flowed harder.
“Wyatt?” Grayson questioned softly, and his tone was so different than when he had come into the room, demanding to know what was going on. It was calming, soothing, and comforting. “Why are you crying? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know!” My hands flopped in the air, then I hastily tried to wipe up the tears dripping from my nose onto the scratchy blanket. “Nothing! Everything! She won’t nurse. I don’t have any milk. She’s hungry, and screaming, and nothing I do for her calms her down. I asked for a bottle and they won’t bring me one!”
Never, ever, in my life had I been the type of omega to cry non-stop, or whine about anything. Was this what an out of body experience felt like? If so, I was surely having one. But there was just so much with a new baby I hadn’t anticipated, so many things, and I seemed to be horrible at all of them. Admittedly, I wasn’t used to that feeling. And my body felt foreign to me.
For six months, it had felt like a little alien had taken over. Now that she was gone, my body still didn’t feel like mine again. My belly was empty, but I still looked pregnant. Instead of the hard roundness that had come with pregnancy, my belly was soft and jiggly, like a big bowl of Jell-O. My nipples were puffy and sore, and I didn’t even want to talk about whatever was happening with my hole. The stitches felt tight and my hole felt puffy and ached, and all my other muscles just hurt. Like I had literally pulled every single one of them, all at once. And weird gross stuff was leaking from me. My nurse had assured me it was normal, but I had my doubts.
Add in that I was convinced my daughter absolutely hated everything about me, and it was just too much. Put a fork in me, I was done.
Grayson turned his dark gaze to the woman, who hadn’t even bothered to introduce herself before she’d snatched my baby and started messing with my nipples. Which was just rude on so many levels. And where the fuck was the nurse with the bottle I had requested forever ago?
“Is that true? Didmyomega ask for a bottle for our daughter? And you are refusing?”
I sucked in a startled breath at the way he proclaimed me ashisomega. Again. The sensible, independent omega in me, that didn’t know this alpha at all, wanted to protest that I was not his omega. That I hadneverbeen his omega.
But, earlier, during the only time Julianna had briefly cried herself to sleep after Miss Rose had dropped off my phone to me, I had quickly done some internet searching on fated mates. Looking for more scientific research than folklore and fairy tales, I had found a couple of interesting articles written by well respected scientists.
I couldn’t deny that many things listed as signs of two people being fated seemed to be present between Grayson and me. Especially when I thought back to the night we had shared. Things that I had thought I was feeling because it was my first time experiencing anything sexual, along with being in a scene and being fairly deep into subspace, could also be attributed to us being fated mates.
I would admit to being more open to the possibility of Grayson and I being fated after reading the articles.
That didn’t mean he could just take over everything and start proclaiming me as his property though.
