Page 84 of Knot Their Girl
By the time Pax returns home with bags of sweets, including a hell of a lot of chocolate, Gideon and Colter have filled the beta’s room with an ungodly amount of blankets, sheets, and pillows. Even some clothes from the two alphas’ rooms. Not a single inch of the regular floor is showing; it looks like one giant fuck pad.
Which is good, because that’s what it is.
As I sit on Colter’s bed and tear into my first chocolate bar of many, I say, “Mr. Knot-o-roboto is in my closet, in my bin of shoes, at the bottom.”
Pax wrinkles his nose. “What?” Colter is equally confused.
Gideon knows, though, and he says not a single word as he goes to fetch my silicone knot. Two minutes later, he’s returning, that ridiculously large fake knot in his hand. His cheeks are a little pink, but he’s otherwise still as calm as he was before as he sets the knot at the foot of the bed.
“Oh,” Pax mumbles. “That’s… wow.”
Even Colter blushes when he sees the thing.
Gideon rubs the back of his neck. “I’ll make pasta for dinner. Carbs are probably a good thing to load up on. Is there anything else? Anything else you need?”
My mouth is full of chocolate when I say, “No. You and Pax can go downstairs. Colter will come down and grab the food later.” I swallow hard, forcing myself to add this last part, “I don’t want you two to be up here until it’s over.”
It’s quick, but flashes of hurt show on the alphas’ faces. Again, those glimpses fade fast. Pax says, “If you’re worriedabout us losing control, we won’t. We wouldn’t do anything you don’t want us to—”
That’s the point, though. I’m scared of what I’ll want them to do, and once it happens, once they do it… there’s no turning back. No undo button.
Pax only stops when Gideon sets a hand on his arm and says gently, “She made her decision days ago. If she doesn’t want us up here, she doesn’t want us up here, simple as that.” To me, he adds, “If she changes her mind, however, we’re more than ready to be of service.”
The alphas leave the room, shutting the door behind them. I have to bite my tongue to stop from immediately changing my mind—how pathetic am I that I’m not even fully in my heat and I want them to stay? If you’re looking for a girl with a backbone, don’t look at me.
Colter comes to sit next to me, though he’s careful to avoid touching the silicone knot. He signs something, and I’m pretty certain he’s asking if I’m sure about all this, and what he types out on his tablet reinforces that question.
“I don’t know,” I say, frowning as I tear into my second chocolate bar. What are calories when you’re about to experience a heat you shouldn’t? The answer is they don’t matter for shit. Not right now. Heats are all sex, sex, sex; working your body on overdrive constantly to the point of exhaustion. The more calories you consume beforehand, the better.
It’s going to be okay,he writes out.We’ll get through it.And then a second passes before he adds,Did they talk to you about it yet?
“About what?” I ask that with my mouth full. Good thing my mom isn’t here to scold me for being so unladylike in front of one of my mates—shit. That thought came so easily to me. The haze of the heat must be falling on me fast.
About officially forming a pack.
“Is that what you want?”
Is it what you want?
“I…” My heart feels weird in my chest. Maybe it’s the impending heat. Maybe it hit me with the blunt stick of truth when I wasn’t looking. Either way, there’s only one answer I can give him. “Yeah, I think so.” I bite my bottom lip, the anxiety in me back in full force, so strong it makes me want to be sick.
Colter places a hand on my knee and gives it a comforting squeeze, and then he types,It’s scary, I know. I was scared when Gideon first brought you home, too, but look at us now. It hasn’t been that long, but I can’t imagine this house without you in it.
“You know, I only accepted Gideon’s offer so I wouldn’t have to listen to my mom nag me,” I say. “And to avoid her setting me up with her friends’ kids.” I make a disgusted noise. “I thought it was the perfect way to get out of the house while avoiding being put under an alpha’s control and still having some freedom. I didn’t think…” Softer, I finish, “I just didn’t think I’d fall for any of you.”
Love for alphas and omegas is mixed with so many things. It can be instant, when your inner beasts connect. It can be fast, a whirlwind, the kind of love that both jumps you and creeps up on you in the same breath.
Love. Is that what I feel for these men?
Colter signs something. He crosses his arms in front of his chest and then points at me, and I’m pretty dang sure I know what he’s saying. My breath catches, and before he has the chance to type it out, I lean into him and kiss him.
I pull my mouth off his and chuckle softly. “Sorry. I probably taste like chocolate—” I’m barely able to get the words out before Colter pulls me back and kisses me again, deeper this time.
For the first time, I’m confident I can get through this without totally losing my mind.
Chapter Thirty-Four – Colter
I love you.It might be a little soon, but I can’t stop myself from signing it, and then kissing her and tasting the remnants of chocolate on her tongue. We don’t linger on it, but even though I never type it out, something tells me she knows exactly what I meant by what I signed.
