Page 64 of Knot Their Girl
Though it’s the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do, I leave Raeka alone. I don’t push her to talk to me, and Pax does the same. After what happened between us… well, lines were crossed. Lines that can never be uncrossed. It’s not shocking she needs time to come to terms with it.
What is shocking, on the other hand, is the fact that I don’t need that same time. You’d think that, since this is my house and it’s been my house for so many years, I wouldn’t appreciate another alpha coming along and…
Well, you know.
Sleeping in my own bed, staying away from Raeka, is supremely difficult. I’m only placated by the knowledge that Pax is having a rough go at things, too. From what I understand, he’s a lone wolf. The man doesn’t have a pack, and I don’t know that he wants to have one.
But he has to. The way he responded when the three of us were together, how he invited me over and let me do what I did; that’s not the behavior of strangers. No, it’s the behavior of a pack. I thought I was more than capable of handling life in this house with my nephew, but perhaps I was looking for something more than an omega all along.
As much as I wish we could remain in this house forever and figure things out between ourselves, the night of the dinner party comes all too soon. I spend most of the day in my office, though I’d be a liar if I claim to have gotten much work done.
A knock on the door alerts me to someone else’s presence, and I absentmindedly say, “Come in.” I’m staring at a design from last season, an omega brooch that undersold so badly the entire line ended up in overstock big box stores when I’m joined by Pax.
I straighten up a bit and meet his green gaze as he sits down across from me. He sits with his knees spread wide. It’s not a feeling I’m used to, wanting to please another alpha—an alpha who, in reality, I should’ve kicked out of the house long ago when he proved he could not keep his hands off Raeka. And yet, I couldn’t keep my hands off her, either, so here we are.
“Pax,” I say his name as I fold my hands over my lap and lean back in my chair. “What can I do for you?”
Pax himself hasn’t addressed what happened between the three of us, either. He and Raeka are good at avoiding things. I, myself, am dying to sit down and discuss it, but if they aren’t comfortable enough yet to do so, then I’ll give them as much time as they need.
“This dinner party you and Raeka are going to,” he starts, shifting his weight a bit, but still sitting with those strong legs spread wide, as if inviting the entire world to look at the monster of a cock that presses against his black pants, even now.
When he doesn’t go on, I say, “Is there something specific about it?”
“You really don’t need me to tag along? Make sure that everything and everyone stays away from you and Raeka?” Offering his intimidating über alpha services, not only to protect Raeka but also… me.
“I appreciate the offer. I do. If it were about want and not need, then, yes, I’m certain both Raeka and I would want you there, but this is a dinner with the board. Some shareholders will be there. I need to show up, put in some time, and assure them that with Raeka by my side, I can turn the fortune of Chase Jewels around.”
He doesn’t argue with me. “All right, if you’re sure.”
“I will keep her safe for us all.” I adjust my glasses and let my gaze fall to the desk between us. “She will wear her scent-blocking lotion, so that should help. I am concerned that some might wonder why I haven’t officially bonded with her, yet.”
Pax has a suggestion on the tip of his tongue: “If they ask, say you’re waiting for her next heat. She wants it to be romantic or some shit. It’s what my brothers did with their mate.”
Nodding once, I say, “That is actually a good idea. Thank you.”
“You sound surprised,” he remarks dryly, his mouth tugging into a deep frown. “I do occasionally have good ideas. I don’t know what you think of me, but I’m not some brainless alpha who thinks only with his dick.”
“I never said you were—”
“Before this, I ran a team of highly-trained individuals that Alabaster Security calls in anytime they need backup. Sitting around in a house all day isn’t my idea of a fun time.”
“So you want to leave?”
His jaw grinds, and a vein in his forehead throbs. “I didn’t say that.” He pauses for a few moments as he stares at me. In the beginning, anytime we were alone, he would size me up, probably wondering how much of a threat I’d be. Now, he doesn’t look at me in quite the same way, probably because somewhere, deep down, he knows I’d never go against him.
Pax eventually leans forward, placing his forearms on his knees. “After this party,” he breaks his silence, “we need to talk about what happened, and about what happens next. If this—”Us, he means,a pack. “—is something we all want. Obviously, if it is, I won’t expect a single cent from you, but you’re not the only one who needs to go back to work. I’m itching to see how Rourke is handling the crew in my absence.”
Rourke must be another alpha, one of his friends, perhaps? Although Pax never striked me as the kind of guy who has friends. Regardless, he’s right.
“Agreed,” I say. “We’ll figure it out.”
Pax stands, and I stand with him, though I’m not sure why. He gives me a curt nod before he exits my office, and I watch him go. I’ve dealt with a lot in my life. Losing my sister and her husband, fully taking over Chase Jewels while trying to raise my nephew and make sure he gets the help he needs; I wouldn’t say I lost years of my life, but I’m not where I would be if my life had been perfect.
Of course I wish my sister and her husband were still alive, that Colter could have grown up with parents who loved him. I’d have to be a monster to be okay with the fact that he had to watch his mother die and then be trapped in the car with their corpses until help arrived when he was only ten years old.
But.
But I’d also be a liar if I claim that I’d be fine with a life without Raeka, that I’d be okay with her and Pax leaving. The house wouldn’t feel the same.Iwouldn’t feel the same. I could only hope that they are of the same mind and that together we can all agree on what’s best.
