Page 138 of Fractured Future
“It’s cool, bro. I’m not territorial. Whatever the lady wants, she can have. I won’t complain.”
Irritation sears behind my eyeballs. “She doesn’t want me!”
“Doesn’t look that way to me.”
When I smack him across his purple-dyed head, Axel ducks beneath me to escape into the bedroom. He’s such a little shit stirrer.
I’m not dumb. I know he’s playing games just like Ember is. Axel will happily tear apart someone else’s life if it keeps him entertained for five minutes. What I don’t know is what he hopes to achieve.
We can’t both be with her.
Right?
Leaving the trio, I return to the kitchen to pull out soft drinks and plates. I can hear them discussing pizza toppings, moving on from the mess Axel has made of Ember’s new bedroom.
By the time they emerge with the pizzas ordered, I’ve set everything up on the breakfast bar. Axel has Luke attached to his back like a spider monkey while running around, screaming and laughing.
“He’s a good kid.” Ember takes a seat on a bar stool. “Real sweet.”
“Yeah, he is.”
When she stares directly at me for several emotionally loaded seconds, I lift a hand in challenge.
“Got something to say?”
“Don’t go all mega-grump, Hulk mode on me… But you said that it’s hard to see him.”
“Yeah.” I wrestle to keep an even tone. “It’s tough.”
“Well, he clearly adores you regardless.”
Cautiously nodding, I try to puzzle out her weirdly thoughtful expression. The two boys have collapsed on one of the L-shaped sofas, giving us a second of privacy while they browse the TV listings.
“I didn’t know my dad.” Her expression stoic, Ember feigns nonchalance. “Mum did the best she could, but it was tough. I saw my friends with their happy families, and I wanted a piece of that.”
“Having two parents doesn’t always equate to happiness.”
She nods jerkily. “No, it doesn’t.”
“So what’s your point, Em?”
Trailing a finger over the speckled blackness of the countertop, she seems to choose her next words carefully.
“Luke is lucky to have you in any shape or form. You don’t have to be the perfect dad to be his whole world. You should give yourself some credit for showing up.”
Thorny vines wrap around my throat and squeeze tight. It doesn’t take long for thoughts and memories of that night to poison my bloodstream.
“I put him in danger. Me.”
“He’ll be in danger every day of his life as long as he’s living in this world,” she counters. “Maybe he’ll be thankful to have a devoted dad there to look out for him despite his mistakes.”
“You’re saying he’ll forgive me when he learns about what happened?” My voice comes out as a warble.
“I’m saying… I don’t think there’s anything to forgive. Not from him. Perhaps the issue is you need to forgive yourself.”
After everything happened, I had several months of sessions with Richards. We dissected the entire timeline until I thoughtI’d processed my destroyed life. Perhaps things aren’t as tidily put away as I thought.
With a wash of surprise, the urge to take her into my arms and crush those perfect, plump lips again takes over me. Fuck the consequences. Fuck whether or not it’s allowed. Fuck it all.
