Page 130 of Fractured Future
The smooth-talking jokester showed me that I can have what I want again. That I have the freedom to take it. The ability to choose for myself. Whether it’s right or wrong, my body is begging for something from Hyland too.
“If training to meet this stupid deadline is what you want, then I’ll help you.” He closes the weapons case. “I’ll give you whatever you need to face these demons.”
“You will?”
“For you.” He nods. “I want you to have your proof. I want… Goddammit, Em. I want you to see yourself like I do.”
The screaming organ trapped behind my breastbone skips straight over its next beat and launches into a full-blown gallop. His hushed, borderline-secretive words ignite a flame inside my core.
My hand inches across the firm sponge mat, snaking ever closer to his. When our fingertips brush, heat erupts at the faintest graze of his skin on mine.
One stroke is enough to send me into the deep end of my greedy desires. My lungs have seized and feel heavier than a lead balloon. I’m running through the infinite forest that lies within his gaze and wilfully losing myself.
“What do you see?” My breathing grows short.
“Didn’t we have this conversation not so long ago?”
“I want to know if your answer has changed.”
Hyland scrutinises my face. “It hasn’t changed.”
Irrational longing envelopes me, urging me to take what I want with no regard for the consequences. Never mind the complication that my stolen time with Axel may cause.
Starved of all free will and affection, a gaping cavern developed inside me. That excruciatingly empty space is now aching to be filled with all I’ve missed out on.
Hyland’s index finger lifts to skate over the back of my palm, slowly caressing me. It’s perhaps the most innocent touch I’ve ever received, but it still feels like being hit with a lightning bolt.
“Red,” he grates out.
My teeth sink into my lip, holding back every last traitorous syllable I want to throw out.
“We should head downstairs.”
No,I’m desperate to scream.
“When I let people get close…” Hyland audibly swallows. “It only ends in hurt.”
“Then it’s a good thing I’m already hurt.”
“So what? You want me to add to the shit you’ve already suffered?”
My hand clenches over his, squeezing his rough skin. “You don’t hurt people, Hyland. Quite the opposite, in fact.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I know enough to say that you’re one of the kindest, most protective people I’ve ever met… Even if that manifests as a miserable, old grouch at times.”
He offers a thin smile at my assessment.
“That’s the opposite of hurting people,” I add.
The tip of his tongue peeks out, moistening his lower lip. That generous pillow, surrounded by blonde scruff and golden skin. God, I want to bite it. I want to feel it against my mouth.
“All love is hurt, Em.” His finger drags over my prickling skin. “If you stick around long enough for it to become painful.”
When his hand pulls from beneath mine, I’m swamped with disappointment. Just like the near-miss in the elevator. I get achingly close to breaking his defences only for him to withdraw.
No.
