Page 37 of Her Shadow so Dark and Lovely
“Don’t let the light catch you, Lorel. Keep going. I’m here,” murmurs Sila in my ear. Another sigh of air ends in a damp scream. I want to call out for her. I want her to take my hand and lead me out of here. I don’t want to have to walk into the dark like this. I can’t do this.
You could stop.
I stumble, halting to throw the lantern around in an attempt to find the source of the voice that isn’t a voice. I remember it, clear as a bell being struck. The thing that had spoken to me in my dream. That had woken me in the infirmary. The Library’s Heart.
You needn’t go on like this. Give up and I will take care of everything. You need never worry again.
The dark presses in again, the lights drifting closer, the air moving. Screaming. Screeching. Creatures in the dark, I realise. All around me, and Sila striking out at them as they try to ensnare me. I stumble again as I try to walk on.
“Keep going, little mouse.”
I’m breathing hard and fast, as if I’ve run miles. I must keep going. Never mind that I don’t want to. That I would rather curl up and die. The lantern light feels as indistinct as I do, beingpushed and pulled by the darkness. Those glowing lights are still circling me. Blinking out of existence one moment. Returning the next. There are so many of them. Sila can’t possibly hold them all back.
Give up. I will win in the end anyway.
I trip on the edge of a stone tile and my lantern clatters out of my hand as I hit the ground hard. My ears ring and I can hardly see the lantern through the pressing dark. It’s that same thick fog of labyrinth darkness that is so unlike Sila’s shadows. So much less welcoming. I try to feel my way forward as the darkness crowds in. I must keep moving.
Finally, in the dark, my fingers find the metal of the lantern. I grab it with one hand as my other hand settles on something damp and smooth. Soft and fleshy. I try to scream. Nothing comes out.
I hold the lantern up and the light glances off of thousands of glittering scales. Thin translucent flesh is pulled tight over rows and rows of the creature's thin ribs. Huge cavernous eyes turn on me, completely devoid of light as it opens a gaping wound of a mouth full of needle-sharp teeth. The stench of its breath is overwhelming, threatening my stomach's stability again. From the top of its head dangles a tiny ball of light on fleshy thread. Behind me, Sila lets out a sound of pure fury and outrage.
Give up. Rest.
This thing is going to consume me. Sila is too far away, fighting her way through its children, and I have nothing I can do to protect myself. I don’t want to join whatever other unfortunate souls have been consumed by it, nor to leave my flesh to rot with theirs.
Give up. Stay with me.
Time slows as death comes for me. I throw my hand out in front of me and it moves too quickly for how slowly the creature shifts. As if I can do anything to stop the horrific creature fromlurching forward and bringing its gaping maw over me. As if something so feeble could prevent the Heart from keeping me.
Give up.
“No,” I whisper, closing my eyes. I feel the word pass between my lips and my ears begin to ring, the sound rising into a high-pitched scream. It rises higher, and higher until it is nothing and everything.
Then suddenly, silence.
The darkness falls back with a hiss, and it is no longer that impenetrable black fog. It is just darkness. The creature still looms over me, but it moves as if trying to walk through tar. Air moves past my cheek and my lantern light catches the shadowy edges of Sila as she tears into the beast with talon and teeth and fury. I close my eyes against it all as sound rushes back in, relentless and overwhelming. The air around me sighs, as if disappointed. I feel lightheaded and bloodless, though I have taken no injury. Too warm. There is the sound of my lantern hitting the floor again and rolling away.
“Lorel?” Sila whispers.
Her hands grab my arms as I tip backwards. She holds me up as I blink at her, my vision dark at the edges. She is herself again, blood tracked down her cheeks and caught in her teeth. Her hair a wild tangle bleeding into the shadows. So tall and fierce and strong. She is so lovely, even like this. Maybe, particularly like this. My thoughts are paper thin, crumbling at the edges, and I feel like I am being consumed by fire. Her arms come around me, lifting me with ease.
Sila cradles me against her, and I rest my head on her shoulder. Press my face into her neck where her cool skin soothes the heat in mine. I cling to her with all the strength my weary limbs have left as my thoughts drift away.
The light changes as we exit the ghastly chamber. When I glance around the protection of Sila’s hair, we are back in those dimly lit halls and rooms, with the horror fading behind us.
Sila carries me effortlessly onwards. I hold on to her as if my life depends on it. I recall a memory that feels so distant now, of a cool body pressed against mine as fever had burned through it. I had thought it was a dream at the time. When the poison had tried to take me. When Sila had tried to fulfil her orders.
I must doze, because when I blink back to wakefulness, the labyrinth has changed again. There is a dull soft light just barely kissing the interior and it no longer looks like the Library. There are no books anymore, only a long shadowy mural-covered hall. Sila’s footsteps click against marble tiles. Indistinct statues stand sentry on raised plinths. My mouth is pressed against Sila’s skin, and the scent of it, earthy and sweet, fills my senses. I wonder what it ta?—
Dawn King have mercy on me. I find myself suddenly very awake, wrenching my face away from her skin.
“Are you with me again, little mouse?” Sila asks. She sounds her usual teasing self, but there is concern strung tight underneath it. “I’m afraid I lost your lantern.”
I wriggle and Sila stops to let me down, gingerly lowering me to the ground. She hovers as I test my legs.
I’m okay. What happened?
I can barely make out her face in the dim light. The shadows it casts are so deep and she is entirely unreadable.
