Page 42 of If My Wishes Came True
But for that to happen, I have to stop punishing myself. I guess I learned the hard way that my sister was right. If I don’t process my trauma, it will keep coming back to haunt me.
I don’t doubt that a therapist can guide me through this. I’ve seen the benefits of therapy with my own eyes. The way Dex’s life changed after he finally reached out for help isn’t lost on me. But he’s such a good person. He deserved to feel better.
I wasn’t sure I did—until today.
When I opened up to Vanessa, I told her more about my relationship with Hunter than I’ve ever told anyone, including my own sister. And she didn’t judge me.
That’s why, when Vanessa mentions therapy, I don’t object this time.
“As much as I wish I could help you myself,” she continues, “there’s only so much I can do from a professional standpoint, because we’re friends. But I’m going to be here for you, as a friend, every step of the way.”
I reach for a tissue and dab my eyes. “That’s so sweet of you to say. But I don’t want to burden you. I mean, we only met acouple of weeks ago.”
Vanessa shakes her head with a tender smile. “But it doesn’t feel that way.”
I grin through tears. “No, it doesn’t.”
“It’s not often you meet someone and feel like you’ve known them forever, right? That’s special,” she says. “You have to lean into it.”
I nod, thinking of Charlie.
Before she leaves, Vanessa taps all her resources to find me a therapist, and even books my first appointment for Monday.
“I would offer to stay, or bring you back to my place for the weekend, but I’m leaving early tomorrow morning to visit my parents in Miami,” she says before biting her lip nervously. “I’ll check in while I’m there, but please promise you’ll call or text if you need anything.”
“I’ll be fine,” I say with a genuine smile.
Because this time, I truly believe it.
The next morning, I get out of bed as soon as my eyes open. I shower, get dressed, and eat breakfast. And then I leave my apartment for the first time in six days, which is a huge feat, even though I’m not going very far.
I stand outside Charlie’s apartment for several seconds, thinking about what I want to say to him. But right as I lift my hand to knock on the door, he opens it.
When his gaze meets mine, his dark brown eyes widen witha mixture of joy and relief. “Would you believe it if I told you I was on my way to knock on your door?”
They’re the same words I said to him a week ago, when he invited me to the art museum.
I tear up instantly. “Really?”
He nods, looking down at his shoes, then up at me again. “After we kissed, I could tell you were wrestling with something, so I wanted to give you space. But, it’s been a while, so…I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
I wipe my eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t stop by sooner. Or call after you left that sweet note under my door. I wanted to. I meant to thank you a lot earlier, but…”
Normally I would lie. I’d fight my tears, put on a bright, bubbly smile, and say something came up at work. And, even though I’m sick and tired of burying my feelings, I have to admit it’s tempting. Being vulnerable is scary. But I’ll never get to where I want to be if I don’t try.
“Something happened this week that, um, triggered me. It opened an old wound from my past and…that’s just the tip of the iceberg, Charlie,” I say with a wry laugh. “The truth is…I’m a bit of a mess. When it comes to love, especially. For years, I’ve been telling myself that I didn’t want a relationship. And I believed it…until I met you,” I confess to the man who’s had an inexplicable hold on my heart since I ran into him by the elevator.
The pink in Charlie’s cheeks deepens, his gaze steady on mine as he listens.
“But I can’t move forward with you until I face my issues. So I’m starting therapy on Monday. I don’t know how long thiswill take. And I certainly wouldn’t ask you to wait for me?—”
“No…of course not,” he agrees.
I nod, my lip quivering. Even though I know I’m doing the right thing, I’m devastated. It’s all I can do not to sob.
“But the thing is, Jenna…you don’t have to ask,” Charlie continues, his eyes gleaming.
“What?” I stammer, confused.
