Page 155 of Darling Wildfire
We sat in comfortable silence for a bit.
“Are you okay?” Nyx asked me.
I nodded. “Yeah. I wasn’t able to grieve for them properly. Vetticus took that away from me too. And then with everything that just happened…” I shook my head. “It was all bound to come out sometime.”
“I think what I’m most angry about, isn’t that he did what he did, but thathe made me question myself,” Nyx said. “He made me hate myself.”
“Do you? Hate yourself?”
Nyx frowned down at the stick in his hand but his thoughts weren’t on it. He broke it apart into a few pieces then sighed heavily.
“Not like before. You and Atlas helped with that. But I don’t think this is an overnight kind of thing.”
“No, it’s not,” I agreed.
I clasped him on the shoulder, then rose and went to find Atlas.
Atlas wasn’t watching the sunrise. He was sprawled out on his back with his shirt over his face and one arm behind his head. I lowered myself down next to him. Atlas moved his shirt and sighed.
“Do you think he’ll come after us?”
“I don’t know,” I said honestly.
“I’m not going back,” Atlas said vehemently.
Atlas sat up and draped his arms over his knees, hanging his head.
“I’ve never felt that close to destruction before,” he said quietly. “So out of control.”
I reached over and grabbed his neck. “Look at me,” I commanded.
He lifted his head and I saw the haunted look in his eyes along with despair for things that he would never forget.
“I won’t let him take you, understand?” I said fiercely.
He searched my eyes for a long moment then nodded. I released him and looked out over the forest.
“Like I said—I’ll bide my time. I want us at full strength with resources and support.” I looked over and flashed him a dry smile. “The three of us aren’t just going to go in rogue and hope for the best.”
That got a smile out of him and I saw some of the tension leave him.
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to go back into the real world after this,” he said dryly. “This is worse than a deployment.”
I didn’t have anything to say to that because I agreed. We were prolonging things by coming first to Knight’s house and then doing the Austria operation, but after that we’d have to head back into the real world—back to civilization when we were far from civilized.
We sat in an easy silence for a time until I got to my feet and dusted myself off.
“You should go find Nyx,” I said.
72
ATLAS
I found Nyx sitting near the edge of the bluff. He was leaning over his knees with a frown on his face as he looked out over the valley. I sat down next to him, my shoulder brushing his lightly as I leaned back against the rocks. I saw him stiffen at the contact and could practically feel the nerves radiating off of him.
“I never told you what Vetticus took from me,” I said.
Nyx looked over his shoulder at me.
