Page 153 of Darling Wildfire
“Revenge,” Nyx said.
“I want you to be my second,” I said. His eyes snapped to mine. “And I want you and Atlas to both take over the nightclub and help me put together a personal team—separate from theNorthern Tacticalemployees.”
“Northern Tactical? Fitting.” Nyx smiled. “What will the personal team do?”
“They’ll be our core team we’ll use to get our revenge but we’ll build upNorthern Tacticalto be a well-oiled machine and then we’ll have money and resources coming in regardless of whether this treasure thing pans out.”
I had nothing to my name anymore. Not even the clothes on my back were mine. Vetticus had taken everything but this time, I was going to be impenetrable. I’d build an empire, so it wasn’t just one man he had to take down but a global enterprise. I wanted unlimited resources available to me. I didn’t want money or support to be in short supply.
“Are you ready to play the long game?” I leaned over the table, resting my hands on the worn wood. “Because this won’t happen tomorrow or even next year. I don’t want sloppy. I don’t want a thrown together mission. I want complete annihilation.”
“I’m a patient man,” Nyx said.
I heard someone scoff behind me and turned to see Atlas walk in and smirk at Nyx.
“You’re not, but I am,” Atlas looked at me and winked. “I’ll keep him in line.”
That evening, Knight fired up the smoker and BBQ while we drank whiskey and beer on the back porch.
Nyx was snooping around the perimeter when he pulled out a football and sent it soaring towards Atlas’ head.
“Fucker,” Atlas shouted as he barely batted it away in time to avoid spilling his drink. He put his drink down and they threw the ball back and forth. Soon the four of us were involved in a rowdy game of tackle football while the meat cooked.
By the time dinner was ready, we were panting and covered in sweat and dirt but the atmosphere was light and I was happy to see Nyx, Atlas and Knight so relaxed. I collapsed onto the stairs to catch my breath and realized for a moment I hadn’t been stuck in the shadows. As Knight took the meat off the grill and the sound of Nyx and Atlas laughing at something drifted over me, I realized for the first time in a long time; I felt…hopeful.
The guilt immediately assaulted me. How could I be hopeful and positive when my family was gone and when I had so much death and destruction still ahead of me? People say to capitalize on the small moments—whatever youcan get in the times in between—but sometimes I didn’t think I deserved to feel good.
I had people to protect, people to kill, there wasn’t time to focus on anything else.
Even so, as I watched the light fade across the yard and tint the tops of the evergreens gold in the setting sun, I was able to draw in a full breath and maybe that’s what these moments were for. To pause, catch my breath, and be thankful we’d all seen another day.
71
THERON
The nightmare dissolved and I lunged from the bed. I tore the lamp off the nightstand and smashed it onto the floor. I pulled the bed apart until the room was filled with down and feathers. I was unable to control myself. The visceral emotions clawed their way out of me, needing a release. My fist repeatedly slammed into the wall until the plaster was broken and smeared with my blood. I knocked the dresser over, pulled out drawers until the room was destroyed and I couldn’t see through the tears. Sobs wracked my body until I was shaking uncontrollably.
The grief ripped through me—I missed them so badly my heart physically ached in my chest. But with it was also the rage at myself—I’d failed them.
I’d fucking failed them.
And I’d hurt Emersyn and watched her die.
At some point the door must have been forced open because Nyx, Atlas and Knight were standing in the doorway. I slid down the wall, my head in my hands as I sobbed, unable to stop.
“I failed them,” I gasped over and over again. “I couldn’t save them.”
Nyx knelt next to me and grabbed me, Atlas on my other side, and they held me while I broke apart. I never had the chance to grieve. I’d been thrown into a situation that required my composure, my leadership and for my emotions to be boxed up and put away.
Then I’d had to hurt my daughter—fucking hurt her—and watch her die…
Now, it was all crashing down around me.
The failure, the sadness, the broken heart—I felt it all viscerally and painfully. I couldn’t breathe—I didn’t want to live, but I knew I couldn’t die either.
I don’t know how long I sat there with Nyx and Atlas by my side but as my breathing steadied; I leaned my head back against the wall and took in the destruction of the room. Nyx relaxed and sat down next to me Atlas moved to sit across from us, leaning against the knocked down dresser that wascracked on one side.
“Fuck,” I muttered.
