Page 81 of Ryder: Shadows and Desires
“Oh, I’m sure... since it’s coming from your dream man.”
My cheeks warm, and I throw him a side-eye grin as I take a sip of the IPA I grabbed. “You’ll never let that go.”
“How can I?” He raises his beer, as if it helps make the point. “Adds pressure to me, really. Gotta live up to it.”
The air burns perfectly between us again, only made warmer by the fire heating my jeans and hands. My smile falters as our gazes meet, wanting nothing more than to move closer to him. His thick jacket enlarges his shape, and now all I can think about is sitting on his lap and leaning into his chest.
Fine. I give in. I still don’t understand everything that I’m feeling, but maybe it’s because I don’t understand him at that level yet. “Oh, and by the way—I got a rental, I think,” I say, keeping the conversation moving. “Still have to sign the lease and tour it. But I got a message from the owner of a house that I like, and they sent the documents over after I put down a temp deposit. I really like this one.”
He drinks his beer and rolls his gaze back to the fire. “Gonna miss the smell of the bathroom after you shower. I like whatever you use.”
I suck in the smoky air, my body weightless. I want to kiss his stupid face. Affection for Ryder burrows deep, something about him so intoxicating, no matter what I do.
“You’ll just have to come over more,” I gently say.
Only his gaze moves back to me, his beer hovering in front of his lips. “Of course I will,” he replies, as if it wasn’t a question.
Crossing my legs, I smile as I stare at the black coals that glow orange. “So, when are we doing your massage? Youdoneed a real one. I know some part of you has to be aching right now.”
He looks away. “Maybe tomorrow. We got Nancy Drew watching somewhere out in this crowd. Bet he’ll be like a hawk tonight.”
“Yeah, good point.” A giant grin spreads on my face. “So, let’s find something else to talk about...” I watch another fighter in the distance who is in the hot tub, a giggling woman in each arm, his attention moving between each of them. Clearing my throat, I ask, “What do you want after all of this? Where does someone like you go when the fighting is done? I can’t imagine everyone here fighting in their sixties.”
He doesn’t answer right away and takes another drink, sucking his lips to his teeth. “Don’t fucking know. Maybe get into coaching, or fight a bit longer,thencoach. Start a brand of some kind—already got a few in mind. Get a house. Want to settle down. This shit” —he waves around— “just isn’t my jam anymore. I mean, I like being back and always will, but I’ve already lived this part.”
I look down at the cold can in my hand. That’s a solid answer, and he’s being honest with me.
“What about Jules?” he asks, my eyes flicking up at him. “What does she want?”
“I want a dog,” I reply with a large grin.
“A dog, huh? What kind?”
“A big one to jog with. Not immediately, but down the road. I’m hoping, with a yard, I can eventually get one.”
“One of the, uh, homes I was in had a German Shepherd. I loved that dog,” he comments.
One of the homes? Oh shit, was he in the foster care system?I tuck that away, not wanting to push it. “Oh, my aunt did, too. I like those dogs. His name was Max. Real original.”
“They’re my favorite breed. Lots of training, though, and you’ll need to brush them nearly every day. Had hair fucking everywhere.” He motions his beer can towards me. “Anyway, you a cat person?”
I shrug. “Eh. I love visiting cats, but I don’t speak cat language.”
He grins, scratching his nose. “Well, that’s good. I don’t get those fuckers, either. Funny as shit, though. My sister has one, and Corndog always hangs around me. She’s a good girl. Stares me down a lot.”
I choke on my beer as I take another sip, my sudden laughter catching me off guard. With a scratchy throat, I ask, “Corndog?”
His broad lips crookedly pull to the side in a cheeky way. “They let Mollie name her. Mollie really likes corndogs.”
I laugh, and it echoes through my chest. “Oh my gosh, that’s adorable. That kid’s a genius.”
His gaze clings to me for a moment of consideration. “So, what did you want, aside from a dog?” Ryder presses, shadows dancing on his face from the fire.
“I don’t know. If Andrew pulls this off, then I might stay with the gym and bring on more people. I feel really confident about that for once. Otherwise, definitely hanging out with Dolores and Tiff more. Might help out at this gardening center that Dolores runs.”
“Ah, your old lady.”
“She’s not old. Well, sheis, but she is a wonderful human being with an incredibly young spirit. She’s like an adopted mom.”
