Page 46 of Buck Wild Orc Cowboy
“I can help, Mom,” Max chimed in, sending the clothing in the cart such an honest look of hope that I couldn’t say no. Just once, it would be nice to get new things, to buy more than what I absolutely needed. And I could try with a garden. Maybe it was easier to grow things outside than inside. Sunshine and regular rain could make a difference. I sure hoped so.
“Alright. This once,” I said. “But I don’t need all that.”
I couldn’t look Sel in the eye when I said it, just stared at the jeans stacked in the cart like they were going to cost me more than I'd ever be able to emotionally afford.
“Let me indulge you this once, and then we won’t need to come back to town for a while,” Sel said, adding the pale blue sweater, plus some yoga pants and a few pretty tops, holding them up for me to inspect first. He had good taste. If I had money, I would’ve picked these items out myself. Then he guided the cart to the men’s section where he picked out an equal amount of things for Max. Even new sneakers.
Inside I cringed. He was spending too much money. It made me feel uncomfortable.
On the outside, I pushed for a smile because I could see how excited and happy Max was. When had we ever had a chanceto go to a store and buy so many things unless they were necessities?
Never, that was when.
And that made me cringe too.
Sel noticed. At least, I think he did. He kept watching me carefully as he added one item after another to the cart, even toiletries and some snacks that he insisted he was going to eat himself, though he watched to see where Max looked or touched before reluctantly pulling his hand away.
My hands itched to put most of it back, to prove I wasn’t leaning too hard. The trick of being independent was pretending you always meant to do it alone.
And groceries. He trucked the cart up and down the aisles, adding all kinds of food. Meat and soups and pasta and even some fresh fruit. So many things; more than I’d be able to afford to buy for us in a year or more.
Sel wanted to please us, and that basically crushed me.
Chapter 15
Sel
The next three days passed like the last. At work, we moved seamlessly together, making amazing food and serving it to our customers. At my home, we settled into a routine, taking turns cooking meals, strolling along the pasture in the evenings, talking, and sitting in the living room reading until bedtime.
I continued to sleep in the loft, pointy hay included.
Some of our evenings were spent with more self-defense training, and it amazed me how quickly they were picking it up. Desperation brought determination, and determination brought skill.
Holly remained elusive. I’d feel like I was making progress, only to sense she was pulling back. She smiled, and I caught her looking my way many times, but I couldn’t read the expression on her face.
She trusted me. This Icouldtell.
Gracie came by a few days after I’d spoken with her and my other sisters-in-law, marching into the back part of the bakery and leaning against the counter, watching as we boiled bagels before we baked them.
Holly glanced her way, then returned to scooping a bagel out of the water bath, carefully placing it on the baking tray. Heat filled the kitchen from the ovens despite the air conditioning unit chugging at full force, and fine sweat had beaded on her forehead.
Her braid stuck to the back of her neck, and something shifted in my chest. We'd fallen into a quiet rhythm, and I liked it. Loved working beside her.
Loved everything about her, actually.
“I’m going to need to take at least a dozen of those with me when I leave,” Gracie said with a grin. “They look amazing. But I didn't stop by for bagels. Remember that idea you and I brainstormed, Sel, the one where we'll get tourists to put together picnic baskets, and we'll auction them at the end of the week? Whoever bids the highest wins the basket, and they'll share the picnic with the person who made it.”
“I thought maybe you could help me coordinate this, Holly,” she added. “Assuming Sel can give you some time off here and there during work hours.”
“Of course,” I said. “Any time. I can handle things here.”
“Now?” Holly asked, the slotted spoon she'd been using lifted in her hand.
“If it’s a good time.” Gracie’s sparkling gaze met mine.
“Go ahead.” I took the spoon from Holly’s hand. “I can finish here.”
Her fingers brushed mine as she let go, and maybe it was just the heat from the kitchen, but something electric zipped through my wrist. I didn't let it show. Just leaned against the counter like I hadn’t felt a thing.
