Page 26 of Buck Wild Orc Cowboy
Chapter 8
Holly
We ate a simple dinner of meat, a starchy root that tasted like potatoes only with a hint of a spice I hadn't tasted before in my life, plus a vegetable. Everything came from the orc kingdom. Sel mentioned something about going to the closest town tomorrow to buy human food, plus a few other purchases, and he urged us to come with him. We'd go after the bakery closed for the day, among other things. Since Max and I had only brought a few things, I agreed. I'd have to be careful with the money I'd brought to make it last at least until I got paid, but a boy needed clothing and books even if his mother didn't need more than air to breathe and a meal every now and then.
After we’d cleaned up after our meal, Max went outside to watch the sorhoxes while I did my best to give him the freedom to do this alone without me chasing after him. The odds of Melvin tracking us down here, let alone so soon, was practically nil, so I told myself to chill and let the poor boy live—for now.
Sel and I settled in the living room.
I chose the armchair nearest the window, mostly because it gave me distance from Sel. And from my thoughts. But mostly from Sel. I wasn’t sure what I thought of our kiss, other than I’d liked it. Very much. And that could be a problem. He was my boss. I’d just met him. I had a son to raise. There was no time in all this for me.
He took the couch across from me, his large frame sinking into it like it had been built around him. One arm stretched along the backrest while the other lazily rested on his knee. He looked so relaxed. Big. Comfortable in his own skin. And every time I glanced across the space between us, something in my chest fluttered.
The wind from the slightly open windows stirred the curtains. Every few seconds, they’d ripple outward and let in the scent of grass and pine and something earthy I hadn’t learned to name yet. Before sitting, I'd checked, noting Max leaning on the pasture fencing, watching the sorhoxes. He hadn’t looked that peaceful in years.
I wrapped both hands around the mug of tea Sel had given me before we left the kitchen. The warmth gave me something to focus on, but not for long.
Our kiss wouldn’t leave my head, not when we sat here like normal people doing normal after-dinner things. Not when I couldn’t stop thinking about how he’d looked at me in the hayloft with the dust motes floating around us, the smell of wood and straw and vanilla between us.
When he'd kissed me, it had felt real, like it wasn’t a mistake or a spontaneous thing. Like he’d wanted it as much as me.
The heat creeping up my neck wasn’t from the tea. I was too aware of him now. The spread of his shoulders. The way he tapped a finger absently on his knee. The sheer amount of space he took up without making me feel crowded. He gave me room to breathe, something I’d never had with a man.
But he was just a friend. He was giving me and my son a roof over our heads. I had to keep my feelings to myself.
My jaw tight, I squeezed the mug. What if he thought I was the kind of woman who flirted her way into getting favors? He might believe that after one kiss I'd suddenly expect all kinds of things from him. Or worse, offer something more.
That wasn’t me. Not even close.
He hadn’t said a word about it since. Maybe he already regretted it. Maybe he thought I made a habit of it with all my bosses. I never had and never thought I would. I'd always kept things professional.
I'd hidden, that is. Kept to myself and didn't let anyone in. Doing something like that could hurt me even more than Melvin had.
My gut twisted. That kiss meant a lot to me. It left me warm in a way I hadn’t felt in years. My skin still remembered the shape of his hand on the back of my neck. The flicker of his breath against my cheek when he leaned in close. The way our mouths met, slowly, like we were exploring each other.
It had felt right, and it had made me feel alive. This was a reminder that I could still feel things, that maybe I wasn’t as broken as I’d believed.
We had only arrived here yesterday. I wasn't supposed to be feeling much of anything for someone new, especially not this fast. That was what happened with Melvin. He’d lured me in quickly, full of charm and promises. By the time I saw the man behind the smiles, I was already pregnant and stuck. And when he couldn’t control me with charm anymore, he used his hands.
As far as I could tell, that wasn't Sel, but how could I trust my judgment about any guy?
He was different. He had to be.
Still. What if he thought I owed him something now?
The words popped out. “If you’re thinking I’m the kind of woman who sleeps with someone just because they offered me a place to stay, you need to know that I’m not.”
Sel’s head lifted, his brows drawing together in a puzzled line. “What?”
My eyes dropped to my tea still clenched in both hands. I should’ve kept my mouth shut. Instead, I laughed but it didn’t sound like joy. “Just clearing the air.”
He leaned forward, bracing his arms on his knees. His voice came out gentle. “That thought never crossed my mind.”
I pressed my lips together.
“I mean it,” he said. “You’re here because you needed a fresh start. I want to give you one. That’s all.”
Relief hit me like a wave, fast, strong, and a little disorienting. But it didn’t erase what happened.
