Page 50 of Buck Wild Orc Cowboy
I took a slow breath. “I like Sel.”
Her expression didn’t change. She only sipped the last of her tea.
“I probably shouldn't,” I added. “My judgment isn’t exactly… I haven’t always made the best choices when it comes to people. Relationships. Love.” The words tasted like something scraped off the bottom of a pot. But still, I said them. Maybe for the first time without flinching.
Gracie set her cup down.
I lowered my voice even more and spoke carefully. “As I said, my ex wasn’t great. He used charm like a tool. He always knew how to twist things. It started simple, and I shrugged any uneasiness off. Tiny rules, like what I wore, or who I could text. Then it got worse.” My chest felt tight. I looked down at my hands. “I almost always had bruises. Max was only a toddler when it got really bad. I was still too scared to speak up. I’d lost all my words around him. I didn’t even recognize myself by the time he hurt me badly enough I had to go to the ER.”
Gracie took my hand lying on the table and squeezed it. I didn't see any judgement in her eyes, just quiet understanding.
“I pressed charges, and he went to jail. I had to do it. For me and Max. He never hurt Max. I made sure of that. But when he threatened us with a knife…”
“You took everything on yourself.”
“I had to,” I said. Saying it out loud made me feel vulnerable in a way I never had. “If I’d waited for someone else to save us, we’d still be there. I couldn’t let that happen.” I cleared my throat. “He served time. Not nearly enough. He got out a short time ago, and he quickly found me. Max knows, of course. Even though he was only five when Melvin broke my arm, my son remembers. He's as afraid as me, though I did my best over the past seven years to never mention him. I guess the memories are stamped in his mind for life.”
“You took the job and moved here.”
“I saw Melvin on the street, watching my apartment. I knew it might happen so we had bags packed already. Cash. Fake IDs, even. We ran and maybe we're still running.”
“Lonesome Creek is like a sanctuary. It was for me.” Her penetrating gaze met mine. “I’d bet anything it could be for you too. Let's tell our guys. Then they can all be watching out for you. Do you have a picture of Melvin?”
“No, but I'm sure I can find something online from the trial. Taking this job and moving here was the first risky thing I’ve done in years. I want to be someone who isn’t scared all the time.”
“I’m proud of you,” she said. “You got out. You made a new life for yourself and Max. That takes strength.”
I hadn’t expected kindness to make my throat hurt, but it seemed to be happening a lot lately.
She glanced toward the street, then back at me. “Healing doesn’t mean you have to run into something new headfirst, especially a relationship. But don’t talk yourself out of something real, either.”
I opened my mouth. Shut it again.
“I’m serious.” Warmth filled her eyes. “Sel’s a great person. What you see is what he is. He won't change or turn mean. He's not masking anything bad. He’s patient. Strong. Protective inall the right ways. But never pushy. He wouldn’t rush you. He’d wait.”
“Why would he wait? I don't even know if he likes me in the same way.” Although, that kiss… I couldn’t reconcile it in my mind.
“It's not my place to say, but don’t give up on something with him yet.” Her lips curved up on one corner. “Ask him about matings.”
I could ask him. Someday. Maybe. Yet wanting more than peace could be dangerous.
The thought of starting with someone new… My chest fluttered.
Gracie nodded pertly. “If you feel something, don’t lock it down because you’re scared. You deserve the best things life has to offer.”
A tiny part of me believed her.
A bigger part hoped I could someday believe it with all my heart.
Chapter 17
Sel
That night, after dinner and more self-defense training, we sat in the living room, reading. I got such a warm, comfortable feeling spending time with my family…
I couldn’t stop thinking of them as anything else even though I knew I’d end up with a broken heart one day soon.
Many would call me a fool for thinking of Holly and Max that way, but I couldn't help it. She was my fated mate even though she didn't know it, and I was falling fast and hard, common with mate bonds. She didn't share the mark, but I hadn't claimed her, and often, the mark appeared after a claim. Orcs knew what this meant right away, and it was celebrated. While many found their fated mates, just as many did not. They still loved and mated, but it wasn't the soul bond common with fated mates. Some said those bonds transcended lifetimes, that the two would meet and love, over and over again.
