Page 100 of Somewhere Without You
I was here. I was real.
I was home.
Monitors beeped steadily beside me, each tone anchoring me a little more in the now.
I turned my head slightly, wincing at the pull of something. Tape? Tubes? My throat burned like I’d swallowed sand.
“How long. . .”I croaked, unsure if I even said it aloud.
My sister leaned in, her tear-lined face managing a small smile.“Three days. You’ve been out since the surgery.”
Surgery.
The word rang through me like an echo in an empty hall. Bits and pieces started stitching themselves together—Grans house, Madeline with a gun, Logan, the deafening silence that followed.
My fingers curled slightly, as if reaching for a memory I hadn’t fully caught.
“You’re safe now,”she said.“You made it.”
My gaze drifted to the window. The sun was rising, or maybe setting. It painted the room in shades of gold and lavender, colors too tender for pain. I let myself breathe it in. The moment. The light. The safety.
But beneath the surface, beneath the pain, the drugs, the sterile white noise of the hospital—a single thought began to stir. One I didn’t want to let in.
“Logan?”I rasped, searching the room. But he wasn’t there.
Katherine didn’t move. She just looked at me, her usually warm, sun-kissed complexion drained of all color. Her mouth opened, then closed again. What could she say?
Finally, she shook her head.“I’m so sorry.”
I already knew. I’d known the moment I saw him in that field. But knowing didn’t soften the blow. My heart splintered under the weight of it, the shards lodging deep in my chest as a guttural sob ripped loose. The kind that didn’t feel like it came from my lungs but from somewhere deeper, somewhere that had only ever belonged to him.
The pain in my chest didn’t compare to this. I bit down on it, welcomed it, let it blaze through me like fire as the truth of losing him soaked into my skin and settled in my bones.
Logan was gone.
And I didn’t know who I was without him.
Time passed in vague waves over the next few days. My body ached less now, but the heaviness hadn’t left. It clung to me like a second skin, thick with questions I hadn’t found the nerve to ask.
The bullet had torn through my chest, grazing my lung and missing my heart by a fraction. The doctors said I was lucky. Everyone said that. They used the word like it meant something. But luck didn’t explain the shadow that still lingered at the edge of my thoughts, or the way I’d felt before I woke up, wandering in the space between. Truthfully, I didn’t want to come back.
Not without him.
A light knock sounded against the door.
“Come in,”I called, my voice a little stronger now, but still raw.
Katherine stepped into the room carrying a Starbucks cup like she stole it.
“I had to sneak past two orderlies and the nurses’ station,”she said with a wink.
I’d been at CAMC General for almost a week now, surviving on nothing but watery broth and bitter hospital coffee. Once in a while, if the night nurse was feeling generous, she’d sneak me a muffin or a cafeteria cookie. But this? This was nectar from the gods. I savored the first sip like it might disappear if I wasn’t careful.
“Thank you,”I smiled, setting the cup gently on the tray beside me.“How’s Winston?”
“Missing you,”Katherine scooted her chair closer.“Danielle’s. . . unique. She wants to sage the house.”
I forced a pained laugh.“Gran would’ve loved her.”
