Page 1 of Somewhere Without You
One
Now
Bebrave.Itwas my mother’s mantra—the one she wove into the fabric of my childhood like armor, pressing it into my bones each time fear threatened to take root. She whispered it before every scraped knee, every first day of school, every monster I swore was hiding beneath my bed. It was her lullaby, her battle cry, and a promise that I could face whatever came next.
Now, standing at the mouth of my long, winding driveway bathed in pale moonlight, I was anythingbutbrave.
Two brick pillars flanked the entrance, each topped with a brass lamp meant to cast a welcoming light over the dull iron gate stretched between them. But tonight, both lamps sat cold and hollow, surrendering the entire scene to darkness.
No light meant Jackson was home. Which meant my hope of slipping in unnoticed had just gone up in smoke.
Normally, I was back before he arrived. But tonight, I was two hours late. Not because I was being reckless or testing my curfew, but because a wreck on the Five had frozen traffic for miles, turning the freeway into a parking lot. By the time I hit downtown, not far from the Coronado Bridge, I already knew I was fucked.
Actually, let’s be real. . . I was fucked the moment our security system failed to register my arrival at exactly 8:00 p.m.
My hands trembled as I typed the code into the keypad.
Zero. . . five. . . three. . .
Shit. Wrong number. I tried again.
Zero. . . five. . . two. . . six.
The keypad chirped. A heavy click followed, and the gate groaned as it creaked open, vanishing slowly into the shadows.
I crept forward, steadying myself against the wheel and drawing in a deep breath. Jackson hadn’t called all night, and that was never a good sign. Most nights, I had more time. If everything had gone to plan, I’d have been curled beneath the covers before he stumbled through the door—reeking of whiskey and drugstore perfume. And if I was lucky, he’d be too hungover by morning to remember I even existed.
But luck wasn’t on my side tonight.
I parked my crimson Lexus in the driveway. The last thing I needed was the mechanical shriek of the garage door giving me away. I slipped out quietly, the soles of my sandals whispering against the pavement.
Our home towered in the moonlight, all 6,000 square feet of glass and stone—a fortress on the island of Coronado. But to me, it looked hollow and empty. Like something long dead. Its darkened windows glared down at me like accusing eyes.
I should have called. I should have told him I’d be late.
Forcing down the lump in my throat, I kept my eyes forward. The grand oak door swallowed me whole as I stepped inside, the silence collapsing around me as I exhaled. Slipping off my sandals in the foyer, I moved like a thief in my own home, stealing a few quiet seconds before the inevitable storm.
I tiptoed into the kitchen, where a flood of light spilled onto the black Catalina tile and into the butler’s pantry at the far end of the room.
Maybe he was asleep. Maybe by some miracle, I’d managed to pull it off.
My shoulders lowered a fraction as I hugged my purse tight and crept upstairs, careful not to let the stairs creak beneath me. The landing was dark. No light under the bedroom door.
Just a few more steps. . .
Jackson always kept his office door shut and locked. No one was allowed in—not even the maid. So I should’ve noticed the sliver of space between the frame as I crept past. I should’ve registered that something was off. But I’d been so focused on reaching the bedroom, so desperate to disappear, I missed it entirely.
“Emily. . .”The low growl of his voice cut through the silence like a blade.
He was awake.
There was no use pretending I hadn’t heard him. I turned slowly and leaned my head around the doorframe.
“Yes?” My voice came out thin and weak.
The room was cloaked in shadow. Jackson sat behind his enormous mahogany desk, an open decanter of whiskey resting in front of him.
“You’re late,”hesaid, taking a slow, deliberate sip from the crystal glass between his fingers. He was drunk, but not in the careless, forgetful way I sometimes prayed for.
