Page 68 of Reckless and Rooted
I soften my features and nod. “Okay, Didi.”
“Well, go on.” She smiles broader and gestures toward the gift. “Open it up.”
I take the soft green tissue paper out of the present and pull out the soft material inside of the bag, gasping at the little baby onesie I pull out. There’s a small rocking horse on the front, with lace trim around the neck. It’s what I would call a fancy onesie, if such a thing exists.
Her hand rests on top of mine, and I look to her. “It was Jax’s as a baby. I thought it would be nice if his son also got to wear it.”
Tears hit my eyes, and I look back at the onesie, so intensely grateful for the gift that I’m afraid I’m about to make a blubbering fool of myself. Not only at the generosity of it, but the words she said.
“It would be nice if his son got to wear it.”Her acknowledging the fact that Jax has taken on my baby as his own is a gift in and of itself.
I swallow hard and look back at her, seeing her trying to hold back her own emotions. “This is the most amazing gift. Thank you.”
“Thanks, Mom. I didn’t know you kept that,” Jax says, fingering a bit of the lace. “I remember seeing pictures of me in this.”
She nods. “Your grandmother Rose made it. It’s a family heirloom. I expect you two to keep it safe. Even if it gets a stain or two.” She winks and pats my hand before standing and making her way to her sister, Dani’s mom.
I stare at the onesie a little longer, just looking at it in awe.
“You okay, City Girl?” Jax whispers in my ear, and I look over at him, tears now freely sliding down my face.
“I can’t…” I pause and swallow, feeling his fingers brush the tears off of my cheeks.
“Can’t what, baby?”
I shake my head. “I just feel so honored to be accepted by her.” I shrug my shoulders. “By all of you.”
Jax leans closer, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “This is your family, City.” He sets my mug of cocoa down on the coffee table, then lays his hand on my stomach. “And you two are mine.”
I truly, sincerely did not want to be here.
I was dressed to the nines, my makeup and wardrobe people working their magic to make it look like I didn’t have a baby growing rapidly inside of me.
Less than a month before I was to have this baby, and I was here getting ready to sing at the New Year’s Eve in Times Square event. In front of millions of people.
Yeah. Sure. They wouldn’t notice the belly.
“The way the skirt goes out hides it perfectly.”
I stare in the mirror, barely recognizing myself after months of barely wearing makeup and enjoying the freedom that gave me. “I look like a 1700s disco ball.” I turn to the side, the light reflecting off the millions of sequins on my dress.
The dress tucked in under my breasts and then went out, out, out at my waist before falling straight down.
“I think you look amazing,” Jax says from where he sits on the armrest of a couch. The slightly amused look on his face tells me that he agrees with my comment, but the brain inside ofhis head is still working slightly because he doesn’t say anything else.
“I think everyone is about to know I’m pregnant,” I say, realizing how little I care about that fact.
Zack hasn’t cared, hasn’t wanted anything to do with the baby, and agreed to give up his rights. I just need him to sign the papers.
Part of me is heartbroken, but that is just on behalf of my child, whose biological father was being the way he was. But another part of me is relieved, especially considering the man I am with now is more than ready to be the father this baby needs.
A head pops into my green room and smiles broadly at me. “Ms. Vogel, they’re ready for you!”
I give a slight smile back to the stage manager, my brain going blank as it slips into performance mode. It’s the first time ever performing with Jax by my side. I’mm nervous because I care what he thinks, but I am also so glad to have him here with me.
I reach out my hand, and his slips into it without thought, despite having to stay two feet away from me because of the dress.
My manager, Jeanette, is in the hall, a Bluetooth headset in her ear as usual and a no-nonsense look on her face. “Finally,” she says as she looks at me, and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Jax squeezes my hand. “You should probably just wait back here.”
