Page 29 of Reckless and Rooted
But she beats me to it, sitting up and standing from the couch. “Well, I have to get home.” She turns to me and gives a sad smile as I sit there frozen. “It was nice seeing you, Jax.”
Felicity gives me a beat, two beats, before she nods and turns away, heading back into the bar. The sound from the patrons inside hits us before the door snaps shut behind her, and still, I sit. Unmoving, unable to form a sentence or, hell, even a word that would make sense of everything I’ve found out tonight.
All I know is…I don’t know anything.
15
felicity
Life is moving so fast latelythat it’s been hard to keep up. Mom is getting ready for the school’s Halloween carnival, and decorations, candy, and cardboard cutouts of monsters have taken over the house for the last two weeks.
I sit at the table, carefully drawing what is supposed to look like Frankenstein on some cards for her, and frown at the result. “I don’t think art is my thing.”
Mom laughs from where she is making caramel apples on the stove. “Art is your everything.”
“Not this medium, that’s for sure,” I say, capping the marker and holding the card away from me.
“So what did your manager say?” she asks politely, having given me time to process my feelings before bombarding me.
Yesterday, my mom took me to the doctor to check out the little babe. I had embarrassedly had to bring NDAs for the whole office to sign, blushing every time my mom pushed for everyone to sign them. This is what my manager insisted, and while I know she is right, I hate doing it like I’m not a normal human about to pop out a baby.
Thankfully, the office had been kind about it and didn’t bat an eye, mostly boasting over my music and how excited they were that I was home.
I went to high school with a girl named Amy who happened to be the nurse practitioner who worked there, so it was nice to have someone familiar.
“She said I have commitments to fulfill,” I admit, thinking about what she told me. “I’m due for another album next year, and my lawyer is still working on getting me out of the contract, but until then, I have to pretend that I’m fulfilling it.”
Mom frowns over at me. “You don’t want to?”
I shake my head. “I’m not inspired by the bullshit music they want me to put out, Mom. It’s not who I am. I’ve regretted signing the contract since the moment I did it.”
She nods her head in understanding. “So what are you going to do?”
I shrug and say, “She wants me to go back to California.”
“And do you?”
I shake my head. “Not even a little.”
“Hmm.” Mom’s hum does nothing to settle the nerves I’ve been battling for weeks. “What about Zack? What’s going on there?”
I sigh and roll my eyes. “Another lawyer thing. I had to have mine notify him since he’s not answering my calls.”
“That boy, he needs a good walloping,” Mom says, pretending to hit him with the spoon she is using to stir the caramel. I smile at her antics.
“Yeah, something like that.”
Mom looks over at me and asks, “If he wants to get back with you, to start a family and settle down, would you do it?”
I frown, my face probably comically twisted and say, “WithZack?”
My mom chuckles and nods. “Okay. I thought so.”
It’s not like Zack was a bad guy, per se. He was just vain and a little airheaded, and a lot annoying with his need to be in the spotlight twenty-four-seven.
Not to mention, as far as feelings go, the moment my eyes laid on Jax Cash again, any feelings toward anyone else were like a very faint, hard-to-find memory.
I haven’t spoken to Jax in a couple of weeks, unable to muster up the courage to face him. It’s not like he hasn’t tried. I know that whenever I’ve stopped by my house, he’s been there, talking through everything with Graham and me and trying to get my attention.
