Page 19 of Reckless and Rooted
Mom holds firmly to my hand, like I am nine months pregnant instead of just four. We are keeping the news under wraps as long as we can, at least until I am completely settled.
I’m wearing a dress that hugs me under my boobs and flowed out nicely, concealing the tiny bump that I am sporting. If anyone really notices, it can easily be waved off as bloating or overeating, but this is a town that speculates, not outright asks the question.
Dad follows us in, and like it is assigned seating—which it is not—they lead me to the same pew we’d been sitting in since I was young.
The pew that is right in front of the Cash family.
Right in front of him.
I keep my gaze to myself, refusing to even think of the way his tongue swiped at the frosting leftover from the bear claw I gave him the last time I saw him.
Since then, I’ve stayed away from the house unless Graham needed my opinion. Or I’ve driven past and made sure the old truck Jax drove wasn’t near it before I went in.
Last week, I took my parents through it, and we talked about all sorts of plans, with Dad talking over with Graham what he wanted to help with. It’s not like I don’t want my father’s help, but I want to be sure that I can do this on my own without needing it.
But I sure feel like I needed my parents when I think about having a baby.
I am worried and stressed about Zack not answering my calls and am about five seconds away from calling my manager and making her handle it all.
But I don’t want to do that. I don’t want him involved in the baby’s life at all.
I just don’t know if I am going to get the choice.
I feel the heat of his gaze on the back of my head the entire time I sit here, listening to the pastor drone on and on about some specific story in the Bible.
There is no way he is being discreet about his staring, and I wonder briefly why he is staring at all. The last time I saw him, he couldn’t get away from me fast enough.
Though, to be fair, I was on my way to avoid him as well.
It is just too hard to be around him. I feel solely responsible for the havoc I caused when we were eighteen by leaving. I left him heartbroken.
Maybe he doesn’t know that in the process, I broke my own heart as well.
Church ends and we head to the front doors, greeting our pastor on our way out. He welcomes me back to the community and says nothing more on the matter, making him my favorite person since I came home.
Considering my career was not exactly free of sin, it is an interesting plot twist that the pastor is my favorite.
Mom and Dad chat with friends, and I bristle when I hear an invitation from Cal Trevors, one of my dad’s old pals, inviting us all to the ranch for lunch.
I know what will happen if I go. Jax will be there.
“Felicity!” I turn my head, smiling broadly at Dani and accepting her hug.
“Hey girl,” I say, pulling away and looking at her glowing form. “You look amazing.”
“Thanks!” Dani says brightly, rounding her hands over her much larger than my bump. She was a couple of months ahead of me, and I wondered if I was going to look like that when I was there. Not only a lot larger, but have that particular happy glow that she has. “This little one is making life a little harder these days.”
I frown in concern. “Is everything okay?” Dani was one of my best friends in high school, and when I left, we only would talk here and there. I’d send her tickets whenever I was anywhere near home on tour, but still, I was a shit friend.
But being the amazing human she is, she never even said a word about it and welcomed me home like I was family.
I almost was once.
“No, everything is fine,” she says, leaning closer to me and lowering her voice. “Other than CT being a little paranoid and not letting me work normally, it’s all good.”
I smile, avoiding that prick in my chest that tells me I am alone, and she has an amazing partner.That’s your own fault, Felicity.“He loves you.”
She grumbles but has a smile on her face. “Yeah, yeah.” She grasps my forearm, and I instinctively move it toward her, keeping her away from feeling any bump under my dress. “Please, please come to lunch at the ranch! I want to catch up and have some normalcy. Plus, you need to meet everyone.”
