Page 138 of Bitter Poetry
Still sobbing, she nods, but with a defeated air that I don’t like one bit.
Standing her in front of the vanity, I put some toothpaste on a brush and hold it out to her.
“That’s not my toothbrush,” she says, her eyes mutinous, like sharing my toothbrush is a step too far.
My smile is sad as I brush the tears from her cheeks. “It’s this or nothing. I don’t care, if you don’t. I’ll get you a new one later, okay?”
She takes the toothbrush and scrubs her teeth vigorously before rinsing and scrubbing them again. The moment she puts the toothbrush down, though, a terrible, wounded sound—one I never want to hear again—erupts from her chest.
Cursing my decision to give her the truth, I swing her into my arms and carry her back to bed. I hold her as she cries, a sense of inadequacy swamping me again. I’ve let her down, and, somehow, I need to make this right.
He needs to die.
His empire, and everyone who helped him, needs to burn down.
Eventually her tears peter out. I brush the damp hair from her cheeks and press my lips to her temple. “I shouldn’t have told you.”
“I needed to know. I’m… I’m glad I do. But I slept with a man who killed my mother—the same man who put my father in a wheelchair. Worse, my father gave me to him. How do I reconcile any of this? It’s too much. It hurts too much.” Her voice softens to a whisper. “I don’t know if I can forgive my father. I have a lot of rage inside me.”
She looks so fucking young and vulnerable. “Your hurt is understandable and fully justified. And you don’t have to do anything, not today. One day, when you’re ready, you can begin to heal.”
“How can I? I’m still standing in the eye of the storm. I’m not safe. Neither are my sister and father, not while Ettore lives. Imight hate my father today, but I cannot bear for him to suffer more than he already has. And why act now, Dante? Because of Cosmo? I don’t buy that. You left me with Ettore, and to be clear, there wasn’t a single time with him that came with my consent. What is this, Dante? What are we? Do you feel some obligation because I should have married you first? This isn’t your responsibility, and neither am I.”
“Obligation?” My gut tightens at the mention of Cosmo, even as I rail against her daring to suggest she’s not my responsibility. I roll above her and close my fingers over her jaw, holding her lightly but also letting her feel my emotions leak through the connection. “Do I hate what happened to you? Absolutely. But many bad things happen in the world, and I don’t suffer from any obligations to step in and right the wrong. Make no mistakes about my motives; they are purely selfish in nature. I want you. And now I have you. There are no choices here. You’re in my world now. I own you in every way that matters. And I will protect what is mine.”
“You’re more like Christian than I expected. He just doesn’t verbalize his bullshit.” Her eyes are tear-ravaged and sad, but her tone is more normal—a hint of dry humor… and this after my mouth just ran away with my inner caveman at the helm. “Now, get off me… You’re very heavy and I just started my period yesterday.”
I rock back on my knees poleaxed by this announcement. “What can I do? Are you in pain?”
“Nothing… Yes…I only have a few products in my bag, so unless you want a mess, I will need more.” She rolls onto her side and tucks her hand over her stomach.
I should be getting up and getting her what she needs. And I will. Shortly. But first, I settle down behind her again, sliding my hand around her waist until it displaces hers. “I’ll get yousome Advil. And the products. Anything else. A heat pack? Chocolate?”
“Chocolate?” She twists to peer back at me. “Are you for real?”
Her words and expression give me tentative hope that, with time, the sweet young woman she’s been forced to hide deep within, will return again
“You don’t like chocolate?”
Her lips twitch before she turns to face away again. “Chocolate is a given. No reason is required. And all of the rest. Just… in a minute. Your hand feels nice there. Don’t take it away yet.”
I’m slain. Gone for her. The building could burn down around us, and I wouldn’t move my hand.
I kiss her hair and settle deeper against her. The fight is not over. Nor am I forgiven for the part I played. I have no delusions on that score. She has a lot of healing and a great deal of betrayal to work through.
But I will take this, this moment, and the sense of peace, for as long as it lasts.
CHAPTER 41
DANTE
She falls asleep. I take that as my cue and slip out of bed.
Then I stand there for an indefinite amount of time, watching her in my bed where she belongs.
She needs stuff for her period. Domestic was never my forte, but for her, I’m all in. I get her a glass of water and a bottle of Advil and leave them on the nightstand. Then I exit the room, shut the door, and head back to the open-plan lounge. I’m about to call Leon when a message from him flashes up on my screen.
Leon: We need to talk urgently. Yes, urgently. Again. I’m in my office.
