Page 275 of Night's Fall
“Part of what we need to talk about is your father,” he stated. “Butyou’re right.Ishould have gone somewhere to cool down beforeIconfronted you.”
“No.That’snot whatI’msaying.WhatI’mtrying to say is, when you’re angry, you need to be angry.Youneed to express it.Youneed to share it with me so we can work it out.”
His attention had drifted to my ear.
SoIcupped his jaw in both hands and called, “Aleksei.”
He looked again at me. “Itupsets you.”
Yes.
What occurred to me in the closet was yet another nuance of what he’d done the last two days.
“AsIthinkI’vemade clear,Ican hold my own,”Itold him.
“I don’t want you to fear me.”
“I’ve never feared you, not once, not even when your dragon came out and tossed me on its neck.Whenwe argued before, it wasn’t fearIfelt.Never.Uponcontemplation,Irealized it was shock, becauseIhadn’t seen that side of you.Butalso, anger, because, well…just because you pissed me off.”
I wasn’t going to tell himIwas also triggered due to how my parents treated me.
I wasn’t doing this becauseIwas keeping it from him.
No.
I was seeing now that was a false alarm, and more,Iwas safe withAlekseiin an argument, and we needed to be free to have them.
I couldn’t fight back with my parents.Icould withAleksei, with no ramifications.
It was a style of communication for a couple, a passionate one, that, if done right, could lead to working things out.
Both times for us, we did it right.We’dworked things out.
“Darling—” he started.
I moved my hands to his chest and pushed in. “Partof the last two days was that you needed to do what we did in the daybed.Partof it,I’msensing, is that you couldn’t let loose like you needed to for fear you’d upset me.Andyet, nearly every conversation we had, you were goading me, soI’dget mad and we’d start fighting, and that way you would either manage to push me away in order to protect me from your attentions, or alternately, you could feel free to let loose like you needed to.”
His lips thinned.
Mm-hmm.
I sensed right.
“I didn’t do it consciously, but yes,” he said. “Thatwas whatIwas doing.”
“I want you to be you, honey,”Itold him. “What’shappened withErrolis too much to bear on your own.Youneeded to offload.”Ismiled. “Picka fight with me.Ican take it.Andthen we can make up.”
“That isn’t fair.Itwasn’t youIwas angry at.”
“I’m not a flower, remember?”Iasked. “I’ma star.Thereis not one thing in the universe that makes a star burn less bright.Right?”
At my words, he groaned, pulled me up his chest and shoved his face in my neck.
Okay.
I was taking that as he got me.
“You’remyflower,” he murmured into my neck.
