Page 24 of Vows in Sin
And she was.
I should have turned her away.
But I didn’t. And now I have her all over my beard.
Standing by the window in the office, I watch the sedan pull away. Budgie’s behind the wheel. The tint of the back windows is too dark to see her riding in the backseat.
This has to be the last time.
As the car drives away, a strong feeling radiates from the center of my chest, as if I’m attached to that car, like part of me is going with her.
And that scares me.
If she calls me, if she comes back, I’ll treat her worse than ever. I want to bring her to tears and ruin her with brutal possessiveness. I need to humiliate her. Do something terrible to her so that she will never want to come back.
No matter how much I want her to.
Why did I even give her my number?
I chuckle darkly to myself. Probably because the girl gave me a run for my money. I’ve always had a soft spot for pretty little spitfires.
I remember the last woman to give me a run for my money all too well.
There’s a rock forming a hard ache in my chest. Tabitha’s mum was the first person I met when I first arrived from over the pond, the only woman I ever loved, and the one woman I let break my heart.
Crushing it like glass beneath the heel of her cowgirl boot as she walked away. She took my little Tabby Cat with her, the only trace of me in the matching green of her eyes. It wasn’t till Tabitha was an adult that she found me, and we formed our father-daughter bond.
What would my daughter say if she found out I was involved with a girl her age? I feel a heavy ache in my chest, like that rock is now a boulder and it’s pressing down. What have I done?
I should have turned her away that first night. It was a moment of weakness. Giving in to temptation and taking a bite of the forbidden apple.
It’s not like the two of us are fated to be together. Not like I thought Jane and I were. Tabitha’s mum was the only woman I ever truly loved, the only one who ever lied to me, and the one I let break my heart.
She didn’t only lie to me; she lied to a judge.
When she found a new man in a different state, she knew I would never let her take Tabitha with her. So, she concocted an evil story, telling everyone who would listen that I was an abusive husband and that she and Tabby Cat weren’t safe with me.
Did I have a rap sheet at the time?
Sure.
Would I ever lay a finger on my wife or daughter?
Never.
But with my record, I didn’t stand a chance in court, and there was a possibility that little Tabitha would have to testify against me. There was no way I was going to put my baby through that kind of turmoil.
Jane won.
On Tabitha’s 18th birthday, the first thing she did after blowing out the candles on her cake was to demand my information from Jane and call me. Our conversation led to a visit, which resulted in her moving in with me. A few years later, she’s now a (young) adult woman living her life with a job and an apartment in the city. We talk all the time.
Tabitha calls me a couple of evenings a week. She heats her dinner, sinks into her comfy chair, puts her aching feet on her fuzzy ottoman, and turns on whichever game the season calls for. Between our shouts at our favorite sports teams, she fills me in on her week.
Imagine our next call—my beautiful daughter asks me what I’ve been up to and I tell her the truth.
That her dad has become obsessed with a girl half his age.
Would Tabby disown me?
