Page 37 of Mr Collins in Love
I must, perforce, wait.It was too cold to stand still so I marched up and down the lane.At any other time, I should have felt awkward and might have thought the better of my plan and walked back to Longbourn.Today, with my dream of Jem buoying my determination, I strode with the confidence of a militia officer.
I turned smartly on my heel and did the same thing all over again, noting with interest that moving with such resolve was heightening my feelings of bravery.I took out my little book and made a note of this discovery for occasions that required courage in the future, such as dinner parties at Rosings or meetings with the bishop.
I had marched up and down exactly seven times when I spied a curtain twitching in an upstairs room.The pale face of Miss Lucas appeared for a moment.She lifted her hand in recognition and motioned to me that she would come down.The curtain closed again.
I continued my marching, and had completed the journey past Lucas Hall and back twelve times when I turned to find Miss Lucas approaching me, clad in a blue pelisse and a yellow bonnet.
“Good morning, Miss Lucas.”I doffed my hat and bowed.
“Mr Collins.”She curtseyed.She looked tired and paler than usual and I guessed sleep had eluded her.
“I have considered everything you said yestereve,” I said, then realised this was not strictly true because I had fallen asleep and had therefore not given her offer nearly as much thought as I would have expected.“Or, most of what you said.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“I have some questions, if you will permit them?”
“Of course, sir.I should be glad to answer.”
“Good.Firstly, do you sing much?As you go about the house?”
She looked startled, but said, “I don’t, I suppose.I could sing if you wished it.”
“No, no.I ask because I cannot abide it.It is very distracting to me, singing.”
“Then there is no problem, sir, for generally I sing only in church, or sometimes in the evenings if father asks for a song.”
“What about the pianoforte?Do you play?”
“I can play a little and would soon improve with practice.”
“No, no.There is no piano at the rectory and I do not wish for one.I find music very disturbing.As with singing, it is so difficult to ignore, and in my own house I want peace, not racket.”
“Then I shall continue without singing overmuch, sir, and will happily allow my piano practice to lapse.”
“We have spoken much of plants and seeds.But I wish to make it clear that the garden at Hunsford is my domain.I do not want you bothering the men, nor giving them instructions which may conflict with mine.”
“I understand, sir, and should be glad to leave that to you.”
“Good.What else?Ah, yes, this is important: Lady Catherine is my esteemed patroness and must be treated as such.No word of criticism will pass your lips.Not even in private.And you will pay her every courtesy that is due to her age and rank.”
“Yes, sir.I would in any case behave thus.But I give you my solemn promise.”
“And…and what you said about living more as brother and sister than husband and wife.You meant that?”
“I did, sir.If you wish it.”
“Yes, but will people not talk?If you do not have children?”
She shrugged.“It is not unknown for marriages to be without issue.Generally, people are sympathetic to such a plight.”
“But might it not cast doubt upon the marriage?”
“I do not think so, but if you wished you might tell people that I was in a particular situation, and then, a few weeks later, put it about that that was no longer the case.Such things happen, you know.”
“That is true.”I nodded.“Well, then.I…er...”
Deep down, perhaps, I had expected her to say that she could not be content unless she began every day with a merry sing-song, or that she must needs have a pianoforte or die, or that to instruct the men was her deepest desire.But she had agreed with my every wish, and so calmly and with what seemed complete sincerity.
