Page 29 of Wishes at Water's Edge
“How did you make a salad that’s exactly like the one my grandma makes?” She shook her head in awe.
“Hazel got the recipe from your grandmother.”
Noelle clapped her hand to her forehead, laughing. “Why didn’t I think of that? So it is actually the same recipe. That’s so sweet of Hazel—and of you.” She smiled at him like she thought he was the most wonderful man in the world, but the look only made him break out in a cold sweat.
I’m so nervous,he thought, wiping his damp palms on the knees of his pants.How on earth am I going to get the words out?
For a few moments, they continued to eat in companionable silence. Dean watched Noelle as she smiled, clearly delighted by the food. He knew he needed to start the speech that he’d prepared, but it had flown entirely out of his mind.
She seemed completely unaware of his discomfort, so that at least was a blessing. He speared a forkful of breaded cod and told himself firmly that he just needed to get the first sentence out.After that, the rest of it was going to flow more easily. It had to, right?
Noelle, from the very first…he thought, trying to form the words in his mind before he said them out loud.When I first met you, I thought—no, that sounds too cheesy. But won’t she like that? And anyway, I mean it?—
She looked up at him and smiled and he hastily returned the expression. He wiped his palms on his pants again and cleared his throat. He needed to say something now before she realized that something was the matter. That would kill the whole mood of their dinner and he didn’t want that.
“Noelle, I wanted to tell you something,” he said slowly, his eyes on her face. He felt the sweat on his palms thicken.
“Yes, Dean?” Her eyes shone at him.
Ask. I should have said ask,he thought with an internal grimace.Not tell.
He cleared his throat again. “I know our relationship started out in an unconventional manner.” He hardly recognized his own voice. He sounded like someone about to give out an award at a prestigious event, or like a man in a sappy audiobook romance. It wasn’t like him to sound so formal, and the effect was insincere. Noelle began to blink in surprise. “I mean, you were my physical therapist and I was your client. And then of course we were friends.”
Noelle nodded slowly, starting to look slightly amused.
“Anyway, I want to tell you that I’m so glad everything happened the way that it did. I’m so happy that we’re friends. I’m so happy that you agreed to go out with me.” He meant the words coming out of his mouth with every fiber of his being, but they still sounded stilted and unnatural. “It’s not every day that something like that happens to people. We’re lucky that we’re in a relationship together.”
His mind was a blur, but he was mentally present enough to know that he was making a mess of things. This was not at all the way he wanted to propose to her. He sounded fake and formal and almost arrogant, the way he was making obvious statements as if she might never have thought of them before.
Noelle nodded, smiling at him but starting to look slightly confused. “You’re right, Dean. We are, very lucky.”
“So I just wanted—I mean my point in all this?—”
In a flash, his resolve failed him. He couldn’t propose to her now, not after such a bad start. And not when his brain still felt like putty and his whole body was so sweaty.
“I just want to tell you that you mean a lot to me,” he continued slowly. “I know I’ve been kind of an absent boyfriend a lot of the time because of my fatigue and things like that, but you’ve always been so good to me even when I wasn’t giving you the time and the attention you deserved.” Once he’d made the decision not to propose, his words began to flow more freely. He inhaled as if he was gulping in air after almost drowning. “So tonight, I wanted to show you how much I care about you. You mean the world to me, Noelle, and I’m so thankful you’re my girlfriend.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Oh, Dean!” She stood up and hurried to his side of the table to hug him. “I’m so happy you’re my boyfriend. You’re so amazing, and you mean the world to me too. You don’t ever have to feel like you’ve disappointed me. I know that your condition makes it tough for you to be there for me sometimes, but that it’s not your fault. I see you doing your best to support me all the time.” She stroked his hair back lovingly. “Like this. You’ve planned this whole dinner to make it up to me for all the times you had to raincheck our plans. It’s so incredibly thoughtful of you.”
Dean blinked at her, knowing that at some point, the opportunity to propose during their dinner had passed him by.He held back a sigh, and he could just imagine the way Hazel was going to squeak the word “What?” as soon as he called her to let her know what had happened.
I can’t believe I just missed my chance, he thought ruefully.Well, not completely of course, I’ll try again another day—but Hazel helped me put all this work into our dinner. It was so romantic, and then I went and chickened out.
All he said out loud was, “I love you, Noelle.”
“I love you too, Dean! I love you so much.”
They shared a kiss, and Dean felt his spirits lift. After all, Noelle was very happy, and he could still propose to her another time. Maybe when he tried again, he wouldn’t feel as nervous. Maybe if she didn’t look quite as gorgeous as she did at that moment, he would have an easier time working up the nerve.
Noelle sat back down at the table and they continued their meal. Now that his heart rate had gone back down, Dean found himself enjoying the meal immensely. It was delicious, and he loved being able to look across the display of candles and roses and see Noelle’s smiling face.
For dessert, there was coffee ice cream with chocolate curls. He and Hazel had already prepped a couple of glass dishes and left them in the freezer, so all he had to do was get them and place them on the table. He felt as though he was stepping from an enchanted world back into his sloppy, ordinary kitchen for a moment when he opened the freezer door.
But there was the angel, still sitting at the table waiting for him. Sometimes he could hardly believe that she was real, and that she really loved him as much as she did.
“Coffee ice cream?” Noelle gasped in delight. “Dean, this dinner has been just magical.”
They ate the ice cream together, and when they were finished, Dean pulled Noelle to her feet and danced around the kitchen with her to the romantic sounds of jazz music.
