Page 47 of Over the Verdant Hills
She nodded and smiled, as though she’d read his mind. “You were right. It went much better than I thought it was going to.”
“What did you want to tell us, Mom?” Lana said, setting her bookbag down on a chair at the kitchen table and turning to face her mom.
“Dan, come in here. I want you to hear this too.” She waited until Dan had come in. Josiah wanted to ask if he should leave. He didn’tknow if he should go back to work or stand there and support her or what. He waited for some kind of sign from her.
She glanced at him, and the look she gave him made him feel like she was depending on him to stand beside her. So he put his tools down, wiped his hands on the rag he carried in his back pocket, and stayed where he was. He didn’t want the children to get the idea that he was somehow in partnership with their mom. It was a position that wasn’t his, and he didn’t want to overstep.
“You know that Grandma had cancer,” Claire began.
The kids nodded, both of their faces scrunched up like they didn’t understand what was going on.
“She passed away today. Her body is at the funeral home, and the funeral will be Saturday.”
“Grandma died?” Lana asked immediately, sounding offended, like Grandma wasn’t allowed to die without her permission.
Josiah did not allow his lips to twitch up. It wasn’t exactly the reaction he was looking for. He was sure that Claire was probably befuddled by that one as well.
“Yes. The doctor had told us that it could be anytime in the next six months.”
“I thought she had six months,” Lana said. “I thought we’d see her when we got back from Boston at the end of the summer.”
“I really thought so too. I didn’t realize it was going to be so quick. But the doctor told us right there in the patient room that she wasn’t God. She couldn’t tell us exactly when—she just knew it was close.”
“Does this mean we’re not getting any more bread?” Dan asked, and again, Josiah had to keep his lips from twitching up. Dan was male through and through. Food was the most important thing.
“Well, Grandma was teaching me how to make bread.”
“But yours isn’t as good.”
And honest. He hadn’t yet learned that sometimes it was better to keep his mouth closed on occasion and that he should not say everything that was in one’s head.
He supposed that was a skill that came with age and time. One that he maybe still hadn’t mastered.
“I know this is sudden and unexpected. And however you’re feeling,it’s okay. There isn’t a certain way you have to feel. Maybe you’re not sad at all. We didn’t know her very well.”
“Yeah. I’m a little bit bummed, but… I think the bread is the thing I’m going to miss the most,” Lana said, shrugging her shoulders and acting like it was no big deal.
Josiah watched Claire carefully. He didn’t want her to be upset that her children weren’t devastated. Stranger things had happened. And she was already in a delicate spot, at least from his point of view, although he figured Claire was probably a lot stronger than she looked.
“That’s fine. I didn’t have anything else I wanted to say to you. You can go play until around five, when you’ll need to come in to get ready to go to your program tonight.”
“We can go outside?” Dan asked, as though to make sure.
“Yes. I’ll have food ready at five, and we’ll get ready to go.”
“Is Josiah coming with us?” Lana asked, glancing over to where he stood leaning against the counter.
“He’s welcome to if he wants. He’s helped me a good bit today with all the phone calls and things I needed to make. I appreciated him being here to support me so I didn’t have to do everything alone.”
Lana jerked her head in a nod and didn’t make a comment, either positive or negative. Josiah wasn’t sure exactly what she thought of him.
Not that it mattered. Once he was done doing all the things that Grandma had already paid for in the house, he probably wouldn’t see Claire and her family much at all.
The thought made him feel down, like gravity had somehow gotten stronger all of a sudden.
“I’m here if you need to talk,” Claire said, and her children filed out of the kitchen. Somber, but not sad or devastated. There were no tears, and there was no unbearable grief.
She waited until their footsteps had faded on the steps before she turned to him. “It was easier than I thought it was going to be. Almost too easy. But thanks for being here.”
