Page 38 of Over the Verdant Hills
“That’s the one thing she said, and I felt like it was the only thing she was afraid of. She actually seemed happy after the diagnosis. Like she was excited to go see Jesus and her parents and her son who had died and her husband. Just…full of peace and joy. But she did ask the doctor and specify that she didn’t want to be in pain.”
Claire sat there for a moment, her eyes cast down, thinking.
He let her be alone with her thoughts and gave her the time that she needed. He didn’t want to intrude. She might not have a whole lot of time to sit and try to process. And that last visit with Grandma would probably be something that she would revisit over and over, particularly if it ended up being the very last visit. And especially if Grandma went as quickly as what Claire seemed to be afraid she was going to.
Finally, after a bit, she said, “Well. I probably ought to go back in. I think I’m going to leave the house painting and the kitchen and all of the other things to you. I’ll probably just sit with Grandma.”
“If you need a break, you be sure to ask me.”
“I will. Although I expect we’ll be inundated with family who want to say their goodbyes to her. I know I would want to.”
He thought she might be surprised. Sometimes people could be really weird when death was involved and would do anything to avoid it. But maybe she would be pleasantly surprised. It seemed like Claire was hoping that people would come anyway. Maybe for Grandma’s sake.
“Thanks for sharing with me. I will let you know if I get Grace’s number, and I’ll be expecting to spend the evening either here or at the school tomorrow.”
“Thanks. I’ll keep you apprised of everything that’s going on.”
“Sounds good.”
They stood together, and their arms brushed. It was an accident, at least on his part, and he expected her to jerk away. But she didn’t.
Instead, she looked up at him, as though she was going to say something, but she ended up just staring into his eyes.
It was only for a second or two, but it felt like an eternity to him.
Maybe there was something a little more between them. He felt an odd sensation between his heart and his ribs, something warm and swirly, and he wasn’t sure exactly what that meant.
Other than he wanted to move closer, put his hand up to cup her cheek, put his arms around her, and give her strength. Somehow help her be strong for the days and weeks ahead.
“Thanks,” she whispered again, and then she turned and started to hurry away.
“Hey,” he said, and she stopped right away.
“Yeah?”
“Would you take my glass, please?” He was walking toward her and handing it to her.
“Sure. Sorry.” She laughed a little self-consciously and reached out for his glass. Their fingers brushed, and his eyes held hers as they did. He wasn’t sure whether she felt the sensation that crawled up his arm and seemed to go the whole way down to his toes, but it made him want to close his eyes.
Instead, he said so softly it was almost a whisper, “Thank you.”
He wasn’t even sure what he was thanking her for. Taking his glass,he supposed, but she just nodded and then curled her fingers around the glass before she turned and hurried away.
What terrible timing on his part. She had an ex she was dealing with, was going to be separated from her children for the first time, a grandma who was dying, potential family members descending upon her, and a limited amount of time in which to get all the things done that she needed to do, juggling her children and her grandma and hospice and doctors’ appointments and new medicine, and there he was, thinking that maybe he was falling in love with her.
Chapter Sixteen
Claire looked around. The cabinets had been removed; there were plates and cups in various spots all over the house. She couldn’t give Josiah a hard time for taking such a long time to get things done, since he was trying to get the outside of the house finished on the nice days and working on the kitchen when it rained or was cold.
They had known that this was going to happen with Grandma. But beyond that, she was bone-tired. It had been quite a day, from the doctor’s appointment to the family phone calls she had had to make, where she’d given each person the news that Grandma was dying, and soon.
Everyone had been surprised, no one had expected it, but at the same time, there weren’t a whole lot of people who seemed like they were going to drop everything and come say goodbye.
Claire had been shocked. Until she had thought about it and realized that if she weren’t here, she might not come. As much as she would want to see Grandma one more time, it was death. She didn’t want to deal with death. She didn’t want to see it, didn’t want to be around it. She wanted to remember Grandma as happy and energetic and fun, always with a cup of tea in one hand and a plate of cookies in the other. Or her kitchen smelling of warm, fresh-baked bread. Shedidn’t want to remember her as an old lady lying in bed, too tired to get up to even go to the bathroom.
She had talked to hospice—they were coming in the morning for a consultation. She didn’t even know whether Grandma would be able to get up or not. She supposed hospice had seen people go downhill that quickly.
When she’d talked to Grandma earlier, she was insistent that she would be able to attend the children’s end-of-year program. But after Claire had struggled to get her awake enough to go to the bathroom and get her clothes changed, and had to help her with all of it, she could hardly see how Grandma could attend a program the next night.
