Page 26 of Over the Verdant Hills
“I don’t know. I know I should, but I don’t really want to.”
“You know, you were just telling me earlier that you felt overwhelmed, like if something happened to your grandma, that would be the last thing you could handle. But… You know that Grace could be an ally, right?”
The way he said it made her feel like she was missing an opportunity. And she probably was. He was right. Grace had never been anything but kind to her, even when she hadn’t been kind at all. In fact, she’d been deceitful. Maybe that was why she was dragging her feet. If she were to meet with Grace, she’d have to admit what she had done and apologize.
And how selfish is that?When people apologized, it lifted the burden from themselves, not the other person.
But she supposed she’d been raised to think that apologizing was weak. It showed that a person wasn’t strong. Which really wasn’t true, because it took a lot of courage and guts to apologize. It didn’t take anything except stubbornness and nastiness to withhold an apology.
And there she was, being stubborn and nasty.
“Grace was always a really good friend. I don’t know why I was so mean to her.”
“Grace was perfect,” Josiah said offhandedly, like that explained everything.
“You think I was jealous?”
“I didn’t say that,” he said.
She tried not to get offended, but she felt the irritation rising up in her. Of course he assumed she was jealous of Grace. Who wouldn’t be? Grace was gorgeous and, like he said, perfect. She had good grades and everything always went her way.
But wasn’t that Claire too? Didn’t she get good grades? Other people thought she was fairly good-looking, even if she looked in the mirror and saw all of her flaws. And she had planned on being successful as well. She’d married successfully, according to world standards. Of course, there had been something so terribly wrong with her that her husband wasn’t able to stay faithful to her and couldn’t work it out even though they’d tried.
That was a little embarrassing, and maybe that was part of the reason she didn’t want to talk to Grace. Because she would have toadmit what a failure she’d been, where Grace probably had the perfect life.
Although she was with Trevor. So at some point, she’d had issues too. And she was back in Raspberry Ridge.
“Maybe Grace isn’t as perfect as what you think she is. She came back for a reason,” Josiah pointed out, and it was interesting that Claire’s thoughts had been going in that direction already. He just accelerated them.
“You think she’s back for the same reasons I am?” she asked, not really hoping. Because she wouldn’t hope that kind of pain on anyone. The kind of pain where a person’s family exploded, their children were crying, their hopes and dreams were lost in a sea of infidelity and lies and playing around. The kind of pain where a mom had to watch her children go halfway across the country to spend the summer with their dad, knowing that it would be almost three months until she saw them again.
“I don’t know. I heard that she and Trevor were back together, though.” He stopped scraping for just a moment and leaned back, looking up at her. “It’s kind of sad that I know more gossip from around here than you do. You really need to get out more. I’d like to just hand over my man card now.”
It was much-needed levity in the conversation, and she laughed.
“I’m sorry. I guess I am depending on you for my gossip. Grandma could probably tell me all this, but… She wasn’t feeling the greatest this morning, and I was thinking that she probably was taking a nap after she got done with her devotions.”
“Maybe you need to make sure she goes to the doctor,” he said casually. Too casually, she thought.
“Really? We talked about this before—you didn’t seem to think it was imperative.”
“I thought you said you were going to suggest it to her.”
“I did. But I was waiting for the right moment. You think I should do it now?”
“I don’t think it would hurt,” he said, and again, his words sounded studied, like he was weighing them before he said them. It made her suspicious, but she didn’t know how to ask what was going on. After all,he wouldn’t know anything that she didn’t. She was the granddaughter. He was just the hired help.
Grandma wasn’t going to talk to him before she’d talk to her.
“Maybe I’ll do that when we go in for lunch.”
They worked for a few more hours, talking occasionally about light subjects, the weather, ideas for the house, and the kitchen project that he was going to be starting soon. She hated to admit it, but she really did enjoy working and talking with Josiah. He was one of the good guys.
Chapter Ten
Josiah felt guilty for not telling Claire about her grandma. He’d dropped as many hints as he possibly could and hoped that if she suggested going to the doctor, her grandma would come out and talk about what she already knew.
Of course, he was sure that Claire was going to be upset with him when she found out that he knew and she didn’t. But maybe her grandma wouldn’t say. Maybe Claire would figure it out, and maybe he wouldn’t be around when it happened.
