Page 30 of Alpha's Twins
“What if…what if I get fat?” I blurt the words in a tumbling rush of desperation. “I’m already too fat. What if I get bigger and he doesn’t want me anymore?”
The silence that follows is heavy and unbearable. I see the look of sympathy on Emily’s face, the surprise in Marian’s eyes, and it’s too much. The world spins, and I struggle to breathe, to think, to hold onto anything.
My magic flares again, wild and untamed, and I watch in horror as the flowers surge around us, the blooms swelling and popping in a shower of petals. I can’t control it. I can’t control anything.
“Serena,” Emily says, trying to calm me. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”
I know they’re just trying to help, but I can’t see how anything is going to be okay.
“You just need some time to process all this,” Marian suggests soothingly. “Let’s spend some time today calming your magic so you don’t have to deal with that as well. I can use a gentle spell to, er, put a lid on it, so to speak.”
I hesitate; the thought of suppressing my magic like this is both a relief and a strange kind of defeat. But the chaos of the garden, the chaos inside me, makes the decision for me. “Okay,” I say, nodding. “Do it.”
Marian moves closer, her hands hovering over me with an assuredness that I envy. I close my eyes, bracing myself, and feel a gentle warmth spreading from her fingertips, a soft pulse that seems to settle into my skin, my bones. It feels like a sigh, like a release, and I relax, the tension easing from my body.
“There,” Marian says, her voice like a satisfied purr. “That should make things more manageable for a while. A few days, at least.”
I open my eyes, and the world around me seems quieter, the wild buzz of magic no longer threatening to spill over. “It’s…different,” I say, surprised at the calm.
Emily watches me, her expression one of concern and hope. “Better?”
I nod, a strange mix of gratitude and uncertainty filling me. “Thank you,” I say.
“The chaos in your magic is linked to your fears,” Marian says, her hand resting on mine. “When they settle, we’ll be able to resume training your magic.”
I wish I could believe her. I wish I could believe any of it. “Thank you,” I say again, and this time I mean it.
“I went through something similar with my own magic,” Emily says quietly, “I had no idea mine has the same source as Malik’s and it was too much for my mother’s body to handle. So I know what it’s like to feel out of control. You will be ok.”
She smiles reassuringly, but her words take me aback, “I’m so sorry, I had no idea.” I say as she reaches out to touch myhand reassuringly. “You’re so brave. Figuring out how to control it all and nearly destroying Malik. Despite worrying…”
“It was only possible because of Tristen and all that we have here,” She smiles. “It’s easier to be brave when you’re doing it for the people you love. Besides, I may not have known my parents, but in a way, I was doing it for them. I don’t know what kind of man my father was before he met my mother, but he loved her, and he tried to stop Malik from taking over the island. It seems fitting that I should be the one to ruin his plans with the rogues.”
Emily’s usually calm façade cracks slightly as I see the strength of her resolve beneath the surface, and I nod in understanding. I can only wonder if I’ll be able to find a fraction of the inner strength she has shown.
Eventually, the afternoon sun begins to dip lower, casting long shadows across the garden, and the two witches begin to gather their things. Emily turns and gives me a hug at the gate. “You’ll be fine. We’ll come back in a few days, see how you’re doing.”
I nod, trying to take it all in. “I can’t tell Aiden until I get my own head around it,” I say, looking between them. “Promise you won’t say anything.”
“Of course,” Emily says, her tone reassuring. “It’s your news to share. We’ll keep quiet.”
Marian turns to me, the late afternoon sun illuminating her ethereal hair. “You’ve got a lot to think about. A lot to look forward to.” Her eyes are bright, and I can see she’s genuinely excited about this turn of events.
I nod, trying to mirror at least a fraction of her certainty as I watch them walk back to Emily’s truck. Turning back to thegarden, I wonder how I’m going to explain the absolute carnage here to Aiden when he gets back.
Chapter 16 - Aiden
It looks like a goddamn bomb went off out here. I survey the garden, the absolute chaos of it, and my wolf growls low in my chest. Serena says everything went fine with Emily and Marian, but the state of this place tells a very different story. The flowers are either half-exploded or wilting; the whole yard is a tangled mess of blooms, vines, and giant roots that have pulled up the path. I have no idea what’s going on.
She’s barely spoken to me the last two days, spending hours out here sitting amongst the chaos, but not even attempting to use her magic. I can feel her pulling away, the distance between us growing like the thick creeping ivy that’s all but smothered the garage. It was supposed to be getting better. She was supposed to be settling in. But just as I thought we were starting to build something, everything seems to be unraveling.
I shove my hands into my pockets, trying to ignore the tightness in my chest. It’s not just her magic that’s gone haywire. It’s everything about her. The way she smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. The way she still touches me, but her gestures are now so tentative, almost reluctant, or afraid, despite all the passion we’ve shared. It’s like she’s already thinking of letting go. I don’t know how to fix it, and it’s driving me fucking insane.
My brothers managed to make their mates feel accepted, despite the difficult situations they both found themselves in initially. Where am I going wrong? I never had a problem keeping women happy before. They always seemed happy enough in my bed.
I kick at a tangle of roots, trying to shove the frustration away. Trying to shove my growing feeling of inadequacy away. Serena’s upstairs, locked in her room—she’s even avoiding mybed now—and I don’t know if I should go to her or give her the space she seems to want. The space that might just push her further away.
I bend down to try to pull a snarled vine from the gravel, and the sharp scent of roses fills the air, reminding me of her, of the way she smells when she’s wrapped around me. My wolf is wild, restless, and I can barely keep it together. I grip the vine, yanking it free, and the release is both satisfying and not enough.
