Page 42 of Absolute Fulfillment
Rennix nodded as if he was just hearing what I said for the first time. “So his bitch ass didn’t heed my warning, bet.”
I was about to ask what he meant by bet, but then he gripped my hand, bringing it to his face. He kissed it a second later. “Don’t be out here getting out of character. That’s what you got me for. I’ma handle that.”
When he said that, my eyes immediately went to his side. “Um, you do remember you’re recovering.”
“Don’t worry about that. I said I got it. Why don’t you let me help you bust down these bags, so I can bust you down in a few.” He winked and I sucked my teeth. This was his way of changing the subject. Instead of fighting it, I allowed the change and moved around, taking things out of the bags.
“How about you take a seat and let me cook. Matter of fact, let me get you something to drink. Tell me about your day.”
“Nah wasn’t shit good about it. I been cooped up watching TV. If I see another fucking commercial about food, I’ma turn into that shit.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you went to see him?”
“Because why the fuck would I? Ain’t nothing about him your responsibility. Fuck, if he’s alright or not ain’t your responsibility. Shit, you care about him or something?” His face immediately went from blank to angry. It was like he thought I truly gave any sort of care about Syke.What the fuck?
“Um, excuse me? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I was quickly fuming because what? Why would he even think something like that?
“Exactly what I said. You wanna be with him? Even after he d?—”
“So, let me stop you right there. I don’t want nothing about Syke, if he was on fire I wouldn’t even spit to put him out. But you should know that. And the fact that you’re questioning me like you don’t know how I feel about you or that situation speaks volumes. As a matter of fucking fact, look where I’m at right now.” I threw my hands up in irritation, watching his expression change. He knew he had fucked up, but the damage was done and my feelings were hurt. Rennix had been through trauma, and so had I, but that didn’t give him the right to take whatever he was feeling out on me. “Maybe this all happened too fast.”
“Caya.” He called my name but I was already moving away toward the stairs. I needed a minute to think because I damn sure wasn’t cooking. As a matter of fact, even though I didn’t want him to leave, he probably should. Things with Rennix and I had moved fast, too fast, but maybe we hadn’t taken into account the trauma we both carried from our pasts.
I cut the shower on and grabbed something to put on. I needed to find solace, to clear my mind and allow my body time to feel. I was so exhausted, running myself ragged and thinkingabout him, but what about me?Shit, Caya, just give yourself a minute.
A few minutes later I was in the shower, head under the water, just listening to the pattern of it hitting my body and the floor. Then I heard the door open and immediately the room was heavy again. I cared too much about Rennix… too much too soon.
“I fucked up, Cay. I shouldn’t have said that shit, but I wasn’t thinking straight. The thing is, you saying this shit happened too soon don’t mean it’s gonna stop happening. I mean, yeah I said some fucked up stuff, but it wasn’t how I felt. I was just in my head.”
He was pacing the washroom at this point while all I was trying to do was shower. I had yet to respond.
“Yo, you don’t hear me talking to you?”
I still didn’t respond. I was trying to enjoy my shower before I got out to deal with him.
“So you’re gonna stand your ass in there in the dark and act like you don’t fucking hear me?”
I rolled my eyes. “Just because I hear you doesn’t mean I wanna talk right now. I don’t. I’m tired.”
My answer didn’t suffice because within seconds he opened the shower door. I knew that much because I felt the cool air. When I opened my eyes, I made out his figure standing outside the shower with his arms crossed.
“You forgive me?”
“Rennix!” I shrieked, needing him to close the damn door.
“Hell nah. You don’t wanna talk. Just tell me you accept my apology and you forgive me. I’ll close the door.”
“Are you serious?”
“As fuck. Now hurry up. My shit hurt from you making me climb these fucking stairs.”
“I didn’t make you climb any stairs, Rennix. You climbed them of your own volition. You could have stayed downstairs.”
“The fuck you didn’t. What, did you think I was gonna not follow you? Yeah right, now tell me you forgive me so I can go back downstairs and lay down.”
“If your side hurts why are you going downstairs to lay down, Rennix?” I hated that I cared about him. Because the moment he said he was in pain I wanted to speed up my shower, even though I was mad at him.
When he didn’t respond I sighed, because what the entire fuck. This man was so fucking spoiled it made my head hurt.
