Page 22 of Absolute Fulfillment
“Exactly what I said. I had one of your employees in my chair today. She offered to get me a job, since she’s sleeping with the owner.” Her expression let me know in the door that she didn’t like that, but why did I care? We were friends at her instance, yet I definitely just put hands on her baby daddy and cockblocked the fuck out of Doug’s Handy Manny ass.
“Who?”
“Damn, it’s that many that you have to ask me for a name?” She crossed her arms across her chest and mugged the fuck out of me.
“Nah, I’m wondering if we talking about the same broad. ’Cause I already told you I’m not fu?—”
“Juicy.”
I laughed. “I ain’t fucking lil Silicon Valley, but she sucking dick though. The fuck else I’m supposed to do waking up next to you and no?—”
“Nope, not my business. Don’t catch shit and bring your ass back to my house kissing on me.”
I chortled. “I’m only kissing on you. As a matter of fact, where my greeting at anyway? Had your ass out there smiling all in his face and shit.” Nope, this friend shit wasn’t finna work for me because I was grown enough to know I wanted more, but I had to do it right. We talked enough for me to know I couldn’t half ass anything where she was concerned. Any move I made needed to be right or not at all.
Chapter 5
Caya
A few weeks later
The most unexpected thing in my routine life right now was the friendship I had somehow struck up with Rennix. I was sure things would fall by the wayside after the first few weeks considering he was a man used to getting what he wanted and I was just me. That meant all I could offer was friendship, because anything else would cross a line I wasn’t up for crossing, or so I told myself. Yet every time we were in the same space, I was letting him put his lips on me to say goodbye or goodnight. Of course that wasn’t healthy, but it felt good.
“So, your new friend… You two haven’t slept together?”
I shook my head, peering at Doctor G. “We’re actually friends who hang out and talk on the phone.” With each word I spoke, my chest tightened, because there was more…so much more, but no capital offenses.
“But as greetings or parting ways, you two kiss.” It was more of a statement than a question from her as she looked over her glasses at me.
“Don’t you think the lines are being blurred? You and Rennix are friends, yes. Fairly new friends who are obviously attractedto one another, but not acting on that attraction because of what?”
I shrugged. I could give everyone else the “we’re friends” spiel, but Doc was the one who would force me to listen to myself and hear the bullshit in my sentence. “Because he isn’t the relationship type and I’m not ready yet.”
She fixed her glasses. “What do you mean you’re not ready?”
I shrugged. “I’m too comfortable with being alone, with not wondering if somebody is out there stomping on my heart. I don’t know how to be with anyone at this point.”
She held her hand up. “That’s actually not true…not anymore.”
I tilted my head to the side, waiting for this grand response, because at this point I too was wondering just who I was with.
“You’re with Rennix. Unknowingly, you have found the relationship you’re afraid to be in and entered it. We’ve been talking about you putting yourself out there, trusting your own judgment with people and learning others. These are all things you are doing with Rennix.”
Now that she said it, I realized that was exactly what I’d done. Of course we weren’t having sex or anything, but we spent a good amount of time together. Even when I thought my son coming back would slow that down, it didn’t. He met my son, and within minutes he was sitting on the floor building his blocks with him.
It was that simple and easy. I spent the rest of my hour talking to Dr. G and listening to her feedback. Then my next stop was to pick my son up from my sister. Cylah’s on-campus apartment was along the way and close to my house, so that made it easy for her to babysit in her free time.
I was parked downstairs when my phone began to ring. Rennix’s name was on the console, nine times out of ten making sure I wasn’t backing out on him. He said he had something hewanted to talk to me about. Though him saying that made me nervous, I agreed.
“Where you at?” he asked, seated at his desk as always, peering at the phone.
“Picking up Adonis from Cylah. Why?”
“I’m just asking, lil thug. What, I can’t ask you where you are anymore?”
“I didn’t say that, but you have been acting strange these last few days. Who knows what’s going on.”
He chuckled. “Get off that shit, Cay. I told you it wasn’t shit bad. But I gotta push tonight back a little bit. Indiri is in town and wants to meet for dinner.”
