Page 86 of It's One of Us
A bell cannot be unrung.
Cameras off at last, Lucía and Erica go at it hammer and tongs, but the interview is already out there. They are screwed. Park is screwed.
It doesn’t matter if he isn’t involved in the murders or disappearances. It doesn’t matter that Olivia dealt Erica Pearl a deathblow live. Public opinion has already judged him. Their phones have been ringing off the hook, and when he hears Erica Pearl say the wordDateline, he retreats to his trashed office, nauseated.
What has he done?
His office is a perfect replica of his brain at this moment—a convoluted mess.
Olivia ruined as much as she could find.
He retrieves the pieces of the laptop and sets them gingerly on the desk.
Replaces the slit cushion where he hid the demise of his life.
Pulls the bottle of Scotch from the side table drawer and pours a healthy slug into a glass. Shoves the rest of the mess around with his foot so he can sit without crunching anything else.
Brandon Cross. His tiny son. It won’t matter to Olivia that he only met the boy once. He hadn’t lied when he told Olivia that Fiona Cross wasn’t looking for a father for her child, but an easy paycheck.
He could have given her some money, but he knew where that train was headed, and balked. He talked to Lindsey about a “theoretical situation for a novel” in which the scenario played out, and she said it was “a disaster in the making. The perfect fodder for a plot. Can you imagine how messy that would be? You could have the guy swoop in and rescue the kid, or you could have him blackmailed into submission. Legally, though, as a donor, the guy is protected by the agreement he signed with the company. If he declined support or contact, the mother is breaking the contract she agreed to, and he would not be culpable.”
He’s always known this could happen. And like a damn fool, he hasn’t told Olivia about the possibility. Even after the Fiona Cross catastrophe, when it was an awkward but manageable situation, he hid this from her. Was he afraid to lose her? Yes. Or was he trying to push her away? Avoidance? Guilt? Shame?
His darling Olivia, who—understandably—has now put up an impenetrable wall between them. Just when he needs her the most, she is slipping away.
It was Perry the sainted white knight who had taken Olivia upstairs after the interview fell apart, practically carried her, and seeing them together cuts Park’s soul. It always has. Knowing they slept together, carried on their little revenge affair—it was an affair, Olivia washisgirlfriend, damn it—until Perry left for school and Olivia spent the next few months grieving, not speaking to anyone, about killed him. He’d been overjoyed when their brief fling was over. Yes, he’d dated other girls, yes, he’d pretended not to care, but inside, he seethed with resentment. He stopped speaking to Perry—his twin, his closest friend—and bided his time until he made contact with Olivia again, hoping she would come around, and sure enough, she had. Maybe she felt sorry for him in the aftermath of Melanie’s death, maybe she missed him, maybe she even loved him like he loved her, completely and forever, but their lives had started over that day, and he had no regrets, none at all.
Olivia does. He saw the look on her face when that nasty reporter tossed St. Louis at them. Her recoil, her hand yanking away from his as if she couldn’t bear to be touching him anymore. He is losing her, he knows it, and he needs to find a way to keep her, and fast. She has to believe he isn’t capable of murder. That all of this is just coincidence.
Damn it, how did Erica Pearl, of all people, find out about St. Louis?
Poor little Annie Cottrell. Everyone in the neighborhood knew there had been a creep driving around, asking kids if they’d seen his puppy. It had been happening almost the whole summer. Everyone knew it had to be that creeper who took Annie. Everyone knew it.
But a vicious whisper campaign had started up among the neighborhood moms. The Bender boys had been paying too much attention to Annie Cottrell.
Without a clear suspect, the neighborhood had turned on them. Accused the boys of such terrible things. He and Perry hadn’t even been near Annie’s house when she went missing. They were at the field, Little League pregame batting practice underway. Park remembered the day vividly—he’d hit a homer and run the bases with a carefree smile, not knowing hours later their world would be under attack.
The police searched their house, talked to the boys, to Lindsey. Annie was their sister’s friend. Annie and Lindsey were playing by the fence, Lindsey had gone inside to get popsicles, and when she came back out, Annie was nowhere to be found. Yes, Park and Perry had seen her on their way to the field, but that was before. She’d been on her way to their house to play.
The creep was arrested a few months later exposing himself to another girl a town over. He denied knowing anything about Annie Cottrell, which fueled the flames all over again.
Eventually, their parents had decided they should move. They packed up and came to Nashville, and the course of all their lives had been altered.
Olivia Hutton lived across the street from the new house.
Olivia, with her scratchy voice and her sable hair and her budding, ripe little girl on the cusp of womanhood body, who worshipped the ground the Benders walked on. She was smart. She was funny. She was talented. Park’s parents—his mother especially—adored her. The Huttons and the Benders became fast friends, going out to dinner together, leaving the kids with a sitter, vacationing together, camping trips and beaches. It was natural that Olivia befriend their sister, and the boys, too. The boys played with her, protected her, and fell in love with her. Olivia became the north for the entire Bender family compass.
That has never changed, nor will it. The history they all share is too intertwined. She chose him, damn it. Park. Not Perry. It was she and Park who were childhood sweethearts. Madly in love. Yes, they’d had a spat, a breakup, some hurt feelings while she dated Perry, but she came back to him. Then came marriage. Joy. Love and happiness. Attempts to have children.
It’s only been recently that he’s felt things slipping. That the feeling he had when they were in high school and she wouldn’t talk to him crept back in. She’s closed herself off now like she did then, and it is Perry, again, who has swooped in to pick up the pieces.
Olivia was and is and always will be Park’s entire world. When she was hurt last night, when he’d gotten the call that she’d been in an accident, Park felt like part of his soul had ripped apart.
And now, circumstance and an ill-advised decision twenty years ago is going to drive them apart. He feels the chasm growing, inch by inch, day by day.
He pours another Scotch, shoots it down. And another. Gets angrier by the gulp.
Why is he out here in the proverbial dog shed revisiting hellacious memories alone while his brother is inside with his wife?
