Page 91 of Good Girls Lie
“I’m more like them than you think, Rumi. Your view of my classmates is pretty harsh.”
“Wait until they cast you out, Ash. They will.”
Again, I’m struck by the bitterness in his tone, and the strange sense there is more here than meets the eye. And recall the sinking feeling I had this morning when Becca dismissed me like I was a piece of shit from her shoe. Back home in Oxford...No, Rumi. You’re wrong. I do know what it’s like to be cast out.
The door chimes and I look over my shoulder to see Becca and the twins saunter in. My heart skips a beat, whether from fear or longing, I don’t know. I am very confused. I like Rumi, I know I do. I came here hoping to run into him, to see if we can continue where we left off.
But there is something about Becca... She is a magnet, and I feel my body turn in the chair toward her in a gravitational pull. I don’t understand my visceral reaction to Becca Curtis. Is it that I want to see myself in this gorgeous, gregarious, troubled girl, like calling to like, shadows calling to shadows? Do I want something more, a physical and emotional connection?
Or do I see a way out?
I might never know for sure. I do feel a bit like the walls are closing in, though. And I know what happens when I get claustrophobic. I don’t make the best choices.
The light dies in my mother’s eyes. Her heart thuds to a permanent stop. Is she gone?
Get out, get out, get out.
I smile hopefully, but Becca rewards me with a sneer.
“What are you doing here?”
“Having a coffee,” I reply smoothly.
“Come outside, right now.”
I cast a glance at Rumi, who is watching this little play with undisguised curiosity, then stand and step out onto the sidewalk.
Though we are the same height, it feels like Becca is looming over me. The twins join her, standing on either side, a triumvirate of young goddesses.
“Did I say you could leave campus, Swallow?” Becca hisses.
“No.”
“No, what?”
“No, Mistress.”
“Then what are you doing here?”
“Having coffee.”
“Sniffing after that townie is more like it,” Twin One says. “Just like that stupid roommate of hers. I told you I saw them together the other day, Becca.”
“Well, why are you here?” I ask. I’m trying hard to be reasonable. There’s something in Becca’s eyes that is scaring me. Is she high? She doesn’t look like herself. She looks possessed.
Becca laughs, a harsh caw. “You don’t get to ask questions, Swallow. You obey orders. And I order you to go back to the dorms and wait for my summons.”
“I thought you kicked me out this morning. When you wouldn’t let me sit with you.”
“Awww. Have you been crying, little Ash? Crying on the psycho townie’s shoulder about how unfair your life is? Yourwoe is meact is growing thin. Not only do you have dead parents, you have a dead roommate now, too. Go home and think about why all the people around you kill themselves, Swallow.”
The hateful jab burns through me like molten glass, shimmering and shattering in turns. I actually gasp.
“Becca. That is completely unfair.”
“Tell it to someone who cares, Swallow. I will see you back in the dorms. Go. Now!”
She whirls away, back into the coffee shop, with her minions on her heels.
