Page 115 of Tear Me Apart
April 1999
Liesel, my dear,
Oh wow, L. I am very happy for you. I apologize that the email isn’t working out, as our internet connection sucks big time, and it takes as long to open my email as the Pony Express took to go cross country. Z deploys soon. You’ll be able to mail back the letters, and I will find a safe place for them.
He says he wants to marry me when he gets back from this tour. Can you imagine? I will make sure you have a spot at my side and are wearing something gorgeous. Lavender, maybe. It would look so pretty with your dark hair.
Love,
V
May 1999
V,
Just a quick note to say I think it’s fabulous that you’re getting married!
Though not sure about lavender, as I’m no longer dark haired. I’ve been highlighting mine for a couple of years, now. It’s all the rage here, and it looks pretty. I like being a blonde. It’s like I’m a whole different person.
Now, the not so great news. I miscarried. Kyle said he wasn’t sad about it, either, which sort of broke my heart. I am going to try again in two months like the doctor says. I’ll have time to convince Kyle what a wonderful idea it is.
Are you going to have children?
Love,
Liesel
February 2000
Dear V,
I’m pregnant again! The doctor says this time it’s going to stick. I am so excited I can hardly stand it. I’m going to wait to tell Kyle until I’m past the danger time. But I had to tell you. I am so excited!!!
What are you doing? How’s your hot hubby?
Love,
Liesel
March 2000
Liesel,
Oh wow. Congratulations! I’m so excited for you!
And here’s some news: I’m pregnant, too.
I can’t begin to tell you how freaked out I am. Knowing you’re incredibly excited for me is a help. I’m scared to death. But I’ll figure it out. I have to stop taking my meds, they can interfere with the baby’s growth. So it’s talk talk talk therapy for me—joy! I’ve been seeing Dr. Freeman. Can you believe he’s still at University? He made an exception since I am such an old patient.
Anyway, it’s cool that we can experience this together. It will help me feel less alone. I’m due in August, by the way. Jesus, that’s forever from now.
Love,
V
PS: As you can see, I’ve sent another batch of our letters for your safekeeping. I know you said I should just come clean to Zack, but I don’t have the heart to tell him what I’ve been through. He’s such a strong man. I don’t want him to see me as anything less than his warrior wife.
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