Page 50 of Best Friends
“That isn’t because I don’t love you or want to be yours. How many times do I have to tell you I love you before you believe me?”
“Actions speak louder than words.”
“Jesus, Malcolm,” I grate. “What is your obsession with other people knowing you claimed me? This only happened because my heat suppressants failed.”
He flinches, the color draining from his cheeks. “Is that right?”
I hold out a hand, guilt tugging at me when I see his wounded expression. “What I meant to say was this wouldn’t have happened so soon. Of course I hoped it would happen one day.”
“You sure about that?” A muscle ticks in his jaw, and he won’t meet my gaze as he gets off the bed and starts dressing quickly. “Well, don’t worry. I think I get it now. My lips are sealed. You can keep your secret, C.”
I get off the bed too, anxiety eating at me. “Come on, Malc. You’re not really leaving, are you?”
Still not meeting my gaze, he grates out, “I am.”
Frustration washes through me. “I don’t get it. You were okay with not telling anyone before. Why is this such a big deal all of a sudden?”
His jaw clenches. “First of all, Iwasn’tokay with not telling anyone before. I was simply going along with what you wanted. Second, that questions tells me a lot about your state of mind. It’s like nothing has changed for you.” He pulls on his shirt, his mouth a grim line.
“You’re making this into such a big deal for no reason.”
“Claiming someone is a big deal to me,”he growls, facing me. “Obviously not to you though.”
“That’s not true.”
He licks his lips, eyes feverish. “I’m really confused by you. I… I don’t know why you urged me to claim you. Was I just there when you needed an alpha? Would you have been just as happy with any random alpha who happened by, C.?”
“No, of course n… not. I… I knew it was you, Malc,” I mumble lamely.
His laugh is bitter. “You’re not very convincing.”
I blow out a frustrated breath. “I’m telling the truth. I wanted your bite. But obviously, if I hadn’t gone into heat, I would’ve preferred to wait for that to happen.”
“So then I’m right. You do regret it happened.”
“No… I… you… you’re twisting my words.” I grit my teeth. “Listen, you’re the only alpha I want. Okay? Is that plain enough for you? I just don’t understand why other people need to know about our business.”
Pain shimmers in his eyes. “We’re talking in circles. I need to get out of here. My heart can’t take another minute of this shit.” He strides to the bedroom door and he disappears down the hallway.
As he leaves the house, he doesn’t slam the door or anything that dramatic. But that’s almost worse because he’s so controlled and disconnected. I race down the stairs and open the front door just in time to see him driving away. My heart aches as he disappears down the street. I touch the tender bite mark on my neck, feeling sick.
“Fuck,”I mutter.
From the moment Malcolm and I started sleeping together, my biggest fear has been losing him. I can’t even imagine a world without Malcolm in it. I don’t want to. Seeing how hurt and angry he was just now, it makes me feel panicked. He won’t just turn his back on me, right? Not after he claimed me.
I wish I could make him understand why I don’t want everyone knowing about us yet. It isn’t because I’m not proud to have him as my alpha. I’m over the moon proud that Malcolm would want me. But being out of the spotlight is when I’m most comfortable. I’ve always lived in Malcolms shadow, happily. He loves attention, while I hate it. He’s the life of the party, while I prefer to watch him shine from a distance. Our dynamic has always been sympatico.
Until now.
Malcolm wants me to join him in the spotlight. He wants to drag me out of the shadows, so that I stand beside him. Why does that seem so terrifying? Why does the thought of the worldknowingMalcolm loves me scare me so much?
Is it because I worry I’ve never been worthy of his attention? I’ve often wondered what he saw in me. Why he liked me so much. Why he fought for my friendship when I wasn’t an easy person to befriend. Even as a child, I was shy and standoffish. But he pushed and pushed until we became inseparable.
Am I scared that if Malcolm starts to see me through the eyes of the world, he’ll see the real me? And in doing so he’ll realize how unworthy I truly am?
Chapter Ten
Sunday morning I wake up with a horrible headache. The bite on my neck throbs, reminding me of the events of the day before. My heart aches for Malcolm. I want him with me so much I can taste it. I missed him enough before, but now that he’s given me his bite, his absence is a physical gnawing pain. I touch my stomach, wondering if there’s a baby beginning to grow inside of me. Malcolm’s baby. While the thought makes me anxious, it also excites me.
