Page 45 of Best Friends
I narrow my eyes, searching his face for any sign he’s bluffing. “Come on, Malc. I’m supposed to be the untrusting one, not you.”
He gives a grudging smile, but it’s fleeting, gone before it can reach his eyes. “I don’t like this secrecy shit. It’s not in my nature to hide who I am.”
“I know.” My stomach aches with stress, a tight knot of anxiety sitting heavy beneath my ribs. “But you said you’d be patient with me, remember?”
“Yes, I remember,” he mutters, his breath coming out in a frustrated sigh.
I brighten. “Plus, I told Chey about us. So, at least we don’t have to hide from her anymore.”
He lifts his brows, surprise flickering across his features. “You told Chey?”
“I did.” I nod eagerly, the words tumbling out faster now. “She was hurt because I was being so distant and weird. To be honest, she didn’t even seem that surprised.”
There’s obvious relief in his eyes, the tension around them finally softening as his shoulders drop. “You really told her?”
“Yes.” I give him a tentative smile. “I did something good, right?”
“Yeah,” he says quietly, his voice rough with emotion. “That makes me feel a little better.”
“Does it?” I tighten my arms around him, feeling the warmth of his body through his thin t-shirt. “Thank god. Please don’t be mad at me, Malcolm. I hate it when you’re upset.”
“Well, shit, C. How did you think I was going to react when I heard you asked Amanda out on a date?” He sounds exasperated, his breath warm against my forehead. “What was I supposed to think?”
“No, I get it. I never expected you to find out.” I laugh sheepishly, the sound catching in my throat. “I planned on handling it before you ever knew what an idiot I was.”
He lets out a shaky breath, and I can feel the tension slowly leaving his muscles. “I felt sick thinking you wanted to date that girl.”
I wince and put my hands on either side of his familiar, handsome face, my thumbs brushing over the slight stubble on his jaw. “No. Not even a little. All I wanted the whole day was to get back to you.”
“Yeah?” His eyes gentle, the blue of them catching the light from the window. “Promise?”
“God yes,” I manage, a lump in my throat making it difficult to speak, the words thick and heavy. I push up on my toes and press my mouth to his, tasting the faint sweetness of him. He responds immediately, his tongue slipping into my mouth and his hands tugging me closer, fingers gripping the fabric of my shirt.
He lifts his head. “Can we go in your bedroom? I… I need you so bad, C.”
“Same,” I whisper, excitement churning through me. Things feel different now. I’m more aware of how insecure Malcolm is. He’s good at hiding his feelings and appearing confident, and he had me fooled. He said he’d be patient with me, but if how he was earlier is anything to go by, all that means is he’s just waiting for me to bail on him.
He shouldn’t have to worry so much about whether I want him or not. Ineedthose insecurities to go away. They’ll only make things harder. He needs to understand just how much he means to me. He’s fucking everything to me and he doesn’t even know it. That breaks my heart. Even though I’m terrified what we feel for each other won’t last, I need to at least privately give him everything I have to give.
“Here.” I tug out my cell phone. “I’m going to text Amanda right now and tell her I can’t go out with her.”
He studies me. “Yeah?”
I nod, mulling what I should say. “I don’t want to hurt her, but I also want her to get the message that I’m not interested in her. Not sure how to convey that.”
He grimaces. “She’s a nice girl.”
“She is.”
He wrinkles his brow. “Still doesn’t mean I’m cool with you going out tonight with her though.”
I smile at how jealous he sounds. “I don’t want to go out with her. I just want to stay in with you.”
He crosses his arms. “Okay, then make something up. Tell her you’re still hung up on your ex. That always works.”
I laugh. “You read my mind. That’s exactly what I was going to say to her.” I type out a message, careful to keep the focus on me rather than her. The truth is, thisisabout me—not her. She’s gorgeous, funny, and smart. But I’m in love with my best friend, and that means my heart is already taken. “Okay,” I say after hitting send. “The deed is done.”
He studies me as if looking for disappointment or regret.
