Page 32 of Givin' Me Fitz!
“Only if it would put you in physical danger or in jeopardy of arrest. I never plan to put you in the crosshairs of anything, Fitz. We had a robbery at the dispensary last week. One of my guys has disappeared, and we can’t find him. We’re not supposed to be looking for him, because the cops don’t want us interfering, but he’s a member of our club family, and we look out for our family.”
“Any leads?” Couldn’t help it. I’d been applauded for my natural inquisitiveness—read that as being nosy.
“A few that don’t point in a direction I’d like to consider. I’m not here about that. I’m here aboutus.” Sawyer wrapped his fist around his long hair before twisting it up into a bun and securing it with the elastic band around his wrist as the wind picked up.
“Us? Is there anus?” His lack of contact since our one-and-only date said otherwise.
Sawyer stood and walked around the table, dragging the other chair until he was sitting directly in front of me. He reached for my right hand, grasping it between both of his before he rested his forehead against my knuckles.
“I’ve been a real prick, Fitz, and I’m sorry. I’ve had you on my mind since that night, and I’ve analyzed things up, down, and sideways. I’ve worried about how you’d react if I had to leave in the middle of the night because one of my brothers was in trouble. I’ve thought about whether you’d be on my side if a war breaks out with a rival club, as I think it might after the bullshit at Tumbleweeds. I’ve tried to figure out if you’d get pissed if I smoked pot, or how you’d react with some of the nonmembers who hang around the clubhouse, or if you’d ever want to come to the clubhouse with me for a party.”
Dallas St. Michael had told a couple of stories about how shit went down at the Scorpions clubhouse with “hangarounds” as he called them. Sex on pool tables with women who serviced everyone at the club. Running illegal drugs up and down the West Coast. Fighting turf wars. Human trafficking and gun smuggling. Could I be with someone who lived that lifestyle?
I’d never have considered that I could look the other way to shit like that, but for a man like Sawyer Abbott, I had the feeling I’d do just about anything. Maybe not murder—but then again, if I fell in love with the man, I couldn’t rule it out if he was in danger.
“You’re right about one thing. You’ve been a real prick. Why were you in such a rush to get rid of me that night?” The way he rushed me back to my truck and peeled rubber to get away from me still had my head spinning.
Sawyer released my hand and took the toothpick out of his mouth, breaking it in half before flinging it into the bucket with the bottle caps. “I thought you’d think I was dumb for taking you out into the desert to give you a hand job. I mean, I’m not a virgin. I’ve fucked people—guys and girls—and I don’t usually give a fuck about my partner. I get mine, you know.
“That night, when we were getting to know each other, something clicked inside me that you and I could have fun and hang together without awkward silences. Then I thought I was stupid because of the age difference. I was embarrassed because I was sure I wouldn’t measure up to other folks you’ve dated. Hell, dating isn’t anything I’ve done since I took Kailey Columbus to senior prom.”
I smirked. “Did you lose your cherry on prom night?” It was a stupid thing to ask, but I needed a minute to process what he’d said.
His laugh was a deep vibrating bass. “Long before that. We lived behind the clubhouse and there were always opportunities for a teenage boy.
“Kailey was a very sweet girl, and I was a stubborn, smelly teen boy who got around far too much. For the first time in my life, I actually behaved like a gentleman. I heard she married a Mormon guy and lives in Provo with seven kids.”
We both laughed hard. Imagining that many little ones running around would make me nuts, but more power to those who could take the heat.
“That’s a lot more mouths to feed than I’d want to worry about.” I took a deep breath. “Look, I told you my history—I fall too hard, too fast. If you’re just lookin’ for a hookup, I gotta take a pass. I’m not good at it.”
There. I’d told the truth, no matter how embarrassing it was that I was a romantic and wanted the happy ending. I pulled my hand from his and stood from the table. “I’ll sign this if you’ll give me a minute. I plan to stay six months, if that’s agreeable.” He nodded, so I went inside to get a pen.
I still had no idea where we stood.
Chapter Twelve
Sawyer
Fitz headed toward the house to get a pen to sign the lease, and my gut told me not to let him get away. I hurried up the stairs and into the house behind him.
I hadn’t been inside since I’d put together the furniture for him almost a month ago. When I realized what a dumbass I was being, I drove by the house a couple of times, but he was never there. I even stuck a toothpick between the door and the jam the first time I stopped by and knocked. It was still there each time I drove by to check. His absence had all kinds of shit running through my head that pissed me off and made me wonder if I’d missed my chance with Fitz.
I’d finally dropped by Sparks Bail Bonds to talk to Sparky. “Hey, I’m looking for Fitz Morgan. He’s renting a house from me, and I need to get him a copy of the lease to sign.”
Sparky had laughed. “You let him move in without a lease? You’ll never get him out of there, Bones.” I hadhopedthat was the case.
“I don’t think you’d hire that kind of guy who would squat at my place. He gonna be around anytime soon?” My patience had been shrinking, but I’d never find out what I wanted to know if I threatened Sparky. Had Fitz already left town without telling me?
“He’s out of town on a hunt. Should be back in about a week. You wanna leave the papers with me? I’ll be sure he gets them.” I’d smirked at his eagerness to get into Fitz’s business.
“Thanks, but I need to talk to him about some of the terms of the lease. I’ll check back with him. Have a good one, Sparky.”
I’d picked up the fancy new patio set at a home store and delivered it to the house so I had somewhere to sit in the backyard of the rental house while I waited for Fitz to return. The old set was on the patio at my place behind the clubhouse.
Now, due to my own stupidity when we went out the first time, he didn’t seem to trust me and had put distance between us. I wasn’t going to be so dumb as to fuck things up again.
I hurried up the steps and walked to the back door that was open. “Do you mind if I use your restroom?”
