Page 194 of The Valiant Knight
Endlessly.
My marriage to Ceit is a tumultuous one, and we are both aware of that.
Do I love her?
Yes, I do, but not in the way I love you.
Do I wish my hand wasn’t forced and I was made to marry her?
Yes, but I can’t undo what is done.
Now, she carries my child, and I can’t turn away from that. It will likely be a boy, and I will raise my son to understand that duty comes first. While love sustains us, as my child, he will have to make uncomfortable choices.
That is why I let her have her life in the castle.
When we lie together, our bodies pressed to each other, there is no doubt in my mind that you are my other half. I know that, and I cherish it.
What I feel for you is matched by no other, and our nightly interludes where you sneak into my tent to pleasure my body is like nothing I have ever felt before. It is magical, and it is like witchcraft.
Nothing has ever been better for me.
You between my legs, and for me to be buried in you are my fondest moments. They are all that keeps me sane as we do battle for our country against the intruders.
You are all I have.
You’re all I love.
I pray nightly for forgiveness.
When I think of Ceit, I am nothing more than tired. She is a good lass, but she is not the person for me. I think her age has made her not see that she doesn’t own me, even by marriage, but I own her.
Her stubbornness, her shrewishness and unwillingness to obey the simplest thing angers me to no end. Her father promised a well-taught woman,and what I received was a vicious woman who has a sharp tongue.
I’m tired of fighting, and I wish I never accepted her father’s offer to marry her. I knew then it was for the betterment of our clan, but now, I wish I waited. I wish my hands were not tied with this one.
Had I known the unmatched passion, erotic joining, and the pleasure I would find sinking into your body…
There would have been no marriage had things been different. I would have happily lived my life with just you, and been completely content.
I care not that your family is beneath mine. I care only that you are beneath me.
But what am I to do?
I can’t send her away.
She is with child.
Sending her back to her clan would bring embarrassment to her and my child. It would also bring anger from her father. Who knows what he would do in that case? I don’t want her hurt. After all, my son is in her.
Now, she curses me.
She curses my blood.
She hexes the home I had built for her.
She hates me to the depths of Hell and back.
Well, she knows not Hell.
