Page 181 of The Valiant Knight
And it killed him.
After losing D’Artangnan, no one was able to match him in bed. No one understood what he needed to feel alive, or what he needed to be loved.
Honestly, the only reason he did what he did was to punish himself.
Oh, and the last year…
He’d punished himself plenty.
Whenever someone called to hook up, he went without a question.
He didn’t know how they got his number, but they did, and that filled his time.
And his ass.
The humiliation and pain were all he could feel anymore, since his misery was engulfing him.
There was no one who hated himself more than him. He went from sex in bed with the man he loved to fucking in horrible places as he hoped the next hookup would be his last.
What did a guy have to do to be killed in an alley?
Clearly, he had shit luck and was a pussy because he couldn’t even do it himself.
Graham wanted off of this ride.
IMMEDIATELY.
When a man sat beside him, he didn’t even glance over. He knew who he’d be—another nameless dick who would mean nothing.
Who would use him.
Fuck him.
Punish him.
And he’d deserve it.
“Graham?” he asked.
He simply nodded.
“Want to have some drinks and then fun with me?” the man asked, softly.
No.
He wanted to go home and fall from the tower like Ceit had all of those years ago when she lost love.
Only, that’s not what came out of his mouth.
“Absolutely. I’m a dirty bottom. I want you to use me, degrade me, and fuck me,” he said. “I want to be your cum dumpster and on my knees.”
He hated himself.
The other man grinned.
“Sure. Let’s give it a go, Lad.”
Buying him some drinks, they went to a corner booth and he resigned his fate.
