Page 103 of Adored
He’d protect him and be his shield for as long as he could.
Poe could feel Gamble’s fingers twined with his, and he was drawing from his strength.
He felt so empty.
“I should know how to fix me, but I don’t know how to do that. I’m struggling. It’s like my brain stopped functioning, and that confuses me since I know how to help others.”
Gamble was honest, and as someone who lived through insane loss and devastation, he told Poe the cold hard facts.
“You’ll never‘fix’you, Poe. That damage isn’t fixable. It’s always going to be there. At some point, the mourning stops, and the healing begins. I still have moments where I want to cry and hide. That’s normal. You told me it’s how you deal with those moments that matters.”
He was right.
Poe had told him that.
“I thought I was stronger.”
“No one is stronger than trauma, Poe. We just have to learn to live with it. You will be okay. That I can promise you. I’ll fill those empty spaces with love, and we’ll move on together,getting each other through it. We’ll find the crypto key, and we’ll live happily ever after. The road might have obstacles, but as a team, we’ll get through it.”
Poe said nothing.
It was clear that Gamble needed to get him through this because deep down, he still needed Poe to be his compass through his own grief.
Three months did not completely heal a person. Like he said, there were days he still struggled.
“That’s another moment when I knew that I had fallen in love with you,” Gamble admitted.
Poe was confused.
“Pardon?” he asked, thinking he missed part of the conversation due to dwelling on his pain.
He explained.
“It was that first time that I was struggling to really get back on my feet, and you stared into my eyes and told me that it would be okay because you would be there with me. No one was ever there for me before. You were the first person that wanted to keep me safe. You were my first protector. There are days I need your protection still, but I knew real love when you supported me.”
Poe stared into his eyes and knew he needed to be stronger than he was—not for him, but for this man. Gamble still needed him. So, he found a reason to keep fighting. Poe found a reason to heal.
Gamble would always be that reason.
Two broken people would make one whole one.
So, he sat up, and touched the man’s face.
“I love you. You’re right. We’ll navigate this together. My parents wouldn’t want me crying and in pain. They’d want me fighting to get them justice and for Hemmingway too. I’m the last Gordon, and they’d want me to live. My father would haveloved you,” he admitted. “He had the utmost respect for soldiers. The day Hemmingway got the Victoria Cross, he cried like a baby. You’re just as decorated.”
He touched his face too.
“I wish I could have met him. Clearly, though, not your mother. She wouldn’t have cared for me.”
He stopped him.
“She would have, but she’d preferred you had a uterus to give her babies.”
He laughed.
“Well, I mean, you can buy anything on the black market.”
That he was trying to make him laugh meant the world to Poe.
