Page 4 of Affair
I’ve tried.
God.
I’ve tried so hard to deny what I feel and need, but with each day with Poe, I’ve found myself more bound to him.
He’s made me love him, and I’m struggling with being honest about that with him.
After I told Poe that I was still having dreams, he gave me another month with him, and time is running out.
Way.
Too.
Quickly.
I have about a week left, and unless I get the courage to say something to my therapist…
I’m being sent away.
He’s already told me he’s attracted to me, but that he’s my doctor and nothing can come from it.
I understand that, and honestly, I don’t want him to lose his license.
He does good, valuable work.
But I’m in love.
I think.
And I don’t know how to navigate this anymore. It’s not like I can ask my shrink about the unrequited feelings I have for a man—him.
That’s awkward.
And crazy.
So now, as the clock is running out, I’m trying to figure out what my life is going to be like when I’m picked up by Elizabeth and given that choice.
Do I stay Gamble Holloway, a Hunter, or do I walk away, and find a new name and new path?
Do I say goodbye to the man who saved me, and is my hero, or do I linger and risk making one hell of a fool of myself?
I’m hella scared and confused.
My sanity, and future, are hanging in the balance, and for the life of me, I don’t know what to do to figure this out on my own.
I might need a catalyst.
I might need something to make me decide finally what I want.
What I do know is that I’m likely losing Poe, the one person who knows what lives in me, and haunts me is an obstacle I might not survive.
Once more, I’m trapped.
Not by trauma, but by something worse.
Unrequited love.
Yeah, I know the outcome of this mess too. The bottom line is that I’m fucked.
