Page 182 of Affair
When he broke the water, Poe was saved again.
“Thank you.”
Gamble didn’t know what to say.
Why?
He was feeling guilty. He’d had sex with the man, unprotected sex, and now, he was making his plans to slip away as soon as Poe was safe.
“Poe.”
He stopped him.
“I get it. I knew that it was a one-night stand. Forget that I asked,” he said, embarrassed. “Can you please get me out of here?” he asked. “I want to be on dry land.”
Gamble got them to the edge, and he helped him out.
Poe walked over to his clothes, and suddenly he felt completely empty. In a way, he wished that he’d never brought him back to the surface.
Because he was going to hurt for the rest of his life, knowing he’d had love for a few minutes before it left him behind.
Because it didn’t fight for him.
He just didn’t understand why he wouldn’t fight for him, when Poe fought for three months for Gamble’s life.
From his spot by the grotto, Gamble saw the change, and how tense Poe’s body now was as he wouldn’t look at him.
Shit.
Only he could find a new miracle, and destroy it in a matter of an hour.
“What I want, and what is going to happen, Poe, are two very different things.”
He said nothing at first. It wasn’t lost on Poe that Gamble just handed him the same words he’d said to him that day when he saved him in the pond.
Was this his karma?
Had he hurt Gamble this much when he said it?
The big question for Poe was simple.
Why did life have to hurt so goddamn much?
Not only had he lost his twin, Hemmingway, but now, he’d lose the man he knew was his soulmate.
Instead of saying anything at first, Poe pulled on his clothes as tears filled his eyes.
“And I have no say in it?” he finally asked. “I don’t get to have any part in you walking away?”
Gamble tried to explain.
“What I’ve done in my past could hurt you. That’s a hard pill for me to swallow. I don’t want to go. I really don’t,” he began.
Only, Poe was angry now.
He spun, and Gamble actually jumped.
“So then don’t go! Then don’t walk away from me and leave me! I’m not taking on any more soldiers. I’m done saving people when I can’t even save me!” he raged.
