Page 186 of Affair
Finally, Gamble couldn’t take it anymore, and he had to break the ice.
“So that’s it? You stopped loving me all of the sudden because I angered you with trying to be logical?”
Poe looked over at him.
“I’ll never stop loving you. That’s the problem. Your logic is flawed, Marine. As a doctor, a scientist, I’m telling you that your hypothesis is not a passing one. You’re assuming I won’t stay alive if people came for you. You assumed I’m weak and the lesser man. You assumed that I can’t take care of myself. Worst of all, you assumed that by leaving, I’d stop loving you and would survive. You leaving would be crushing to my heart.”
Gamble stared.
Someone nailed that.
That was actually right.
Gamble had assumed all of that. It was beginning to seem like the man hadn’t been turning it around, but had been pointing out the truth from his perspective.
And it was the truth, period.
He was afraid.
“When in actuality, I’d fight tooth-and-nail to be with you. I gave up my career without a second thought when I broke that rule. I’m not weaker than you, Gamble, because I can’t swim, or kill a fish. I buried my twin. I said goodbye to my family and came to America as a gay man who knew no one here. I fought to become the foremost authority in soldier trauma. I can take care of myself when need be. Don’t mistake my gentleness as softness. I can fight when I need to fight. I’ve been doing it my whole life just to prove that I have a spot in this world.”
Gamble knew there was only one way to smooth this over, and that was the truth.
Here went everything.
He was honest about his feelings, like the man had taught him.
“I’m struggling.”
He glanced over, and once those words were said, the anger dissipated, and the therapist kicked in.
“Why?” he asked.
Gamble held nothing back from Poe, since he was the only person who had ever gotten him through the amount of trauma he’d been through.
This was trust.
This was love.
“Why would you fight to be with me? You’re a better man than I’ll ever be.”
Now, it was Poe’s turn to be surprised.
“Pardon?” he asked.
Gamble continued.
“Your father is a Duke, your mother is a Dutchess, and you’re wealthy, Poe. I’m just a Marine. What can I give you but a life of running? I’m a mercenary, Poe. What those men are doing…I do it all the time, or I did. Why would you want this?” he asked, pointing to himself. “When you could have so much more?”
He heard the pain, and the anguish of always feeling lost and alone.
From what he knew of the man, he’d been a loner for so long, and when he trusted Storm to be his person, she brutalized his heart and soul with betrayal of the worst kind.
Because of that, he went back to gentle.
The man needed it.
So, Poe swallowed his own pain for Gamble’s.
