Page 134 of Unmasking Love
I kept my distance from my teammates. I barely got physical with women let alone date them. I didn't attend team dinners or parties. I did the charity events when it was required by the team.
I even shut my own parents out.
I have believed for so long I am better off alone. This is the first time in my life I think I might have been wrong.
Having connections, friends, teammates, family, isn't a weakness. It's a strength. It's an asset.
A relationship isn't a risk. Or maybe it is but it's one worth taking.
I brace myself for another unanswered call as I pull up Harper's contact.
I dial and set it on the coffee table in front of me on speakerphone.
Ring.
Ring.
Sometimes she sends me to voicemail at this point. Other times she lets it keep ringing. It's a little game I play with myself to try and figure out which one it'll be.
Ring.
So she hasn’t completely dismissed me yet. There’s a chance she still answers.
Did she stay up to watch the game?
Did Wes get home and talk to her?
When am I going to see her again?
Her voicemail picks up and I sigh before the recording starts and I leave her another message. I try to mask my disappointment that she didn’t answer.
I’m not sure how well I did.
***
“Hey Ma.” I greet my mom as she climbs out of the car. Dad gets out on the far side and joins our family hug. The contact feels good even though the hug I need most is from Harper.
On my day off yesterday I slept in. Then instead of taking a long ride I quickly rode to Harper’s office but I didn’t see her there. I never went in to ask if the receptionist knew where she was. Going to the office was desperate enough. I couldn’t risk pushing her away by showing up at a house she’s selling.
“You look tired.” Mom says and I roll my eyes.
“He just got home from a marathon road trip, of course he’s tired.” Dad says.
“And you’re playing in every game, which is wonderful, but also, is it too much?” Mom asks as I open my apartment door for her.
“I’ve got the best training staff in the world helping me. I’m good. The road trip took it out of me.” I haven’t told them Harper left. I tidied up my apartment but it is painfully obvious that Harper isn’t here.
Mom immediately goes to the kitchen and starts rifling through the cabinets. She pulls a bag of chocolate chips out of the cupboard and turns to me. “You’re eating sweets?”
“Sometimes, but those are Harper’s. She loves to bake.” I tell them and then walk out of the room, pretending to do something in the bathroom. I know the question is coming. I’m not ready to lie. Saying it out loud makes it real.
“And where is Harper? I thought we’d be meeting her today.” Dad asks when I come back in.
“She’s at work now. Maybe at the game.” I say and then quickly move the subject along. “I booked your tour for 2pm so we better get a move on if we want to get lunch before. I’ll head back here so I can take my nap and head over to the arena around 3:30. Do you need to freshen up before we go?”
Mom takes a moment in the bathroom and Dad reads some news on his phone. We head to lunch at a place near my apartment and catch up. Mom shares about her Manjong group, Dad about the darts league he’s playing in on Wednesday nights. I share about Harper’s home renovation progress and about the team’s strategy going into the last month of the regular season. With another round of hugs I get them into the car and send them on their way to the museum. I walk back to my apartment and trudge up the stairs.
I climb into bed and force my eyes closed. I am bone tired but sleep doesn’t come easily. I roll to my back and stare at my ceiling, one arm propped over my head.
