Page 117 of Unmasking Love
The wind bites against my skin as spray hits us with each crash along the waves. The bumps cause Aiden to grip his stomach but he manages to keep things together. I help him off the boat and back up to the room. Aiden tells me to call Luke, the assistant equipment manager, to come and help.
“Dude, what happened?” Luke asks as soon as he steps into our room.
“Aiden doesn’t have sea legs it turns out.” I offer. “Do you have access to a car?”
“Yeah, there’s the smaller team shuttle. I can get Jerry to take us somewhere, what are you thinking?”
“He’s going to stay but we’d love some saltines, ginger ale, bananas and apple sauce. A coconut water and some tart cherry juice would be great too.”
Luke’s eyes go wide as Aiden moans and rolls to his side. “Is he going to be alright?”
“Of course. He just needs a little time to recalibrate and recover.” I paste on a smile and send Luke on his way with the list.
Slowly, over the next thirty minutes Aiden’s world stops spinning. I use a cold compress on his head and apply pressure to the insides of his wrists to help. He actually asks for something to drink so I give him the ginger ale I was able to get from the bar. He takes a sip and then rests his head back on the headboard.
“That was terrible.” He says gruffly. His throat sore from getting sick.
“Some of the worst I’ve seen in fact.” I tell him with a pat to his thigh. “But, I’ll get you up and running again in no time. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”
“So you have experience nursing people back from sea sickness?”
“I do.” I tell him. Hoping I can leave it at that.
But when has Aiden ever really let me off the hook easily?
“How? Or, I guess, when did you learn?” He asks after another sip.
“Mom and I stayed on a boat for a while.” I say. Not wanting to get into the details. Truth is, Mom had cheated on her then husband who kicked us out. We had nowhere to go so Mom broke into his yacht on the Intracoastal. We stayed there for two months and Mom didn’t have sea legs either so we learned how to manage her motion sickness.
The worst was when a tropical storm blew through.
“Like a house boat?” Aiden asks with a shiver.
“Yeah, a large yacht.”
“Did you make plans with your mom for this trip?” I blink away and look down at my hands when his question lands on me.
“No, I umm, never did.”
“Why not?” His hand reaches forward and brushes gently on top of mine.
“I dunno Aiden, it’s tricky with her. I don’t want her to ruin what we have. I don’t know how she’d do it but she would. She’d say something to you and you’d be uncomfortable. Or she’d tell you something about me and it would change your opinion of me.” I ramble a bit and need to move because the nervous energy is coursing through my veins. I slide off the bed and start to pace. “She’s had a tough life but she’s gotten through it. She was sixteen when she had me and her parents kicked her out. She moved to Florida with me and spent the first year in some drug lord’s harem. She ran away from that when I started to walk and she was afraid I’d get into the merchandise. Then she was almost eighteen so she hobbled things together until she could get legally married to some fifty year old guy. She was with him for a few years before the next. And then another. And we moved from house to house together until I left for college.” I pause when I realize that I just made her sound terrible. She is, but she isn’t. “She also taught me how to bake. And always had me in her weddings when I was little. She’d get me the prettiest dresses and sparkly jewelry.”
“It sounds complicated.” Aiden says and I stop and look at him. I’ve never,never, opened up about this to a boyfriend. No one got close enough.
The other reason I haven’t even told Wes everything I just blurted out is that I can see pity in Aiden’s eyes. And now I’m a wounded bird. He’ll look at me now and see the girl who had to fight for herself, not the woman who did and came out better for it.
“Were you ever unsafe? Besides the first place when you were a baby?” He asks as he sits taller.
I blink at him, still frozen halfway across the room. Vertigo takes hold and the room starts to spin a little. I wobble and Aiden stands quickly and is at my side. Guiding me to the end of the bed. He sits next to me and brushes my cheek with his thumb. “Were you?”
“I was safe.” I tell him. It’s the truth. For the most part, I was completely safe and unaffected by her path through life. When I was old enough to start taking care of myself, I did. Still do. “I am safe.” I whisper because behind my closed eyes that’s what I feel.
“You’re safe.” He confirms and he guides me higher on the bed and tucks me under the covers. I close my eyes and breathe slowly as Aiden washes his face. I keep my eyes closed, keep my breath even, as Luke returns with the sundries. I listen to Aiden move about the room and eat a little bit. I feel the bed dip as he climbs in behind me.
And I drift off for a nap with his arm around me, his chest against my back. Sunshine and safety washing over me. Soothing the parts of me that were fried by my frazzled confession. The vulnerability that crashed through when I saw Aiden softened by motion sickness. I realize, as sleep takes over, that I was able to be open with him because he wasn’t completely in control either.
That I needed to confirm the crack in his armor before I could show mine.
