Page 19 of Unmasking Love
"I promise you, I'm not, but I understand your apprehension."
"Okay! I'm here, what have we seen so far?" Felix asks as he pokes his large head into the screen. I hear what sounds like a "good god" in the background and I assume that's Aiden.
"Hi Felix," I smile. "I was just about to give you and Bryson a quick tour."
"Start in the bedroom. We gotta make sure there's no freaky shit. Or, like, other people's freaky shit. I don't know what Aiden is into." Bryson says and his eyes bounce off to the side. "Aiden, have you given Harper your sexual preferences and bedroom set up requirements."
"This is unbelievable.” Aiden says and then the phone jostles. We hear “you fucknuts", a slap, a high pitched "ow!" and then Aiden's face appears. "Hi Harper, I'm sorry for my teammates, they mean well."
"Hi Aiden, no problem. Would you like to see the house?"
"Yeah, if you don't mind, but you can turn the camera around if you want."
I hear Wes clear his throat so I look up at him.
"Oh shit, you're not alone are you.” He lifts his voice, “I'm sorry to whoever is witnessing this.” Then he drops it and addresses his teammates. “You dicks, now I'm going to have a reputation as an asshole client."
"No, it's just Wes."
"Hi boys!" Wes calls out and then he looks at me. "I can walk behind you and film it if you'd like."
"Oh, sure, that might be easier." I admit and then I hand Wes my phone. I turn and walk away a few steps and when I look back Wes is miming lifting up a boob. "What the hell are you doing?"
He looks up at me, "I was asking if Aiden was a boob or an ass man because I'll frame the shot accordingly but he refused to answer. I think Bryson indicated boobs but I'm just going to switch between featuring both."
"Seriously? They want to see the house, not me."
"Honey." Wes says flatly and rolls his eyes.
There is no use fighting this so I start the tour. I pretend Wes is my client and I try not to think about the multiple professional hockey players looking at me from across the country.
"Start in the bedroom, Harper." Felix calls out around a bite of food.
"Have some fucking manners, aren't you French?" Bryson scolds.
"French Canadian." Felix corrects and I hear a scuffle.
"Boys, focus." Aiden scolds and silence falls across the group. I’ll admit my thighs clenched a little too.
"He yelled at us," Bryson whispers.
"I liked it," Felix replies.
With a smile, I take matters into my own hands. "Okay, now as you'll see the primary bedroom is on the second floor of the house, it faces southwest so you'll get morning light but it won't be direct. If you'll follow me we'll step out onto the private terrace that overlooks the backyard."
"Wow, that's fancy." Bryson says.
"You could have your protein shake out there in the mornings." Felix adds.
"And fuck out there. Damn. Harper, what if I buy it instead?" Bryson calls out.
"I'd entertain a bidding war if necessary." I smile at the camera and walk towards the en-suite. "Now, Wes, would you kindly pan around the room so our audience can confirm there are no geriatric pornographic images hanging on the wall?"
"And make sure there isn't faded paint from where they took it down for the photos like last time." Felix adds.
"The walls don't have any faded spots so I think we're in the clear." I report.
Wes follows me around through the bathroom, the boys like the double shower head feature. I quickly walk through the other four bedrooms, and then down to the kitchen. This is where I knew we'd lose Aiden. It isn't efficient at all and was built to impress. There is an eight burner gas stove, a double oven, two sinks, two dishwashers, and two refrigerators, plus a separate ice machine.
