Page 41 of Breaking the Pucking Rules
Mom is an incredible grandmother. I know she does a fantastic job caring for Sutton in my absence, but it still pains me not to be the first one she sees on those days. I’m not the first to hear about her successes and failures. I don’t get to go to her school performances or all her games.
I’m pretty sure the guilt over being a half-time parent will always weigh heavily on me.
I pull into my parking space at the arena, still lost in my morose thoughts.
This place is my home now. I may only be starting my second season here as a Viper, but everything about the place feels right.
It reminds me every day that coming here was the right decision.
We all needed the fresh start, and—Adrian aside—we’re happy here.
Forcing down my unease, I head inside and join the rest of my team on the ice for drills.
“Rivers,” Coach says with a nod as I pass him, ready to get started.
“Coach.”
Our eyes meet, a silent understanding passing between us.
There aren’t many guys in my daily life who appreciate the pressure of both hockey and being a single dad, but Coach is one of them. It’s one of the biggest reasons I knew we’d be okay when I was traded here.
Coach gets it. He understands my life and where my head is.
And for that, I’ll forever be fucking grateful.
11
CASEY
I’ve been on edge at work all week.
Sure, there might be quite a bit of distance between my office and where the team usually is, but that doesn’t mean I don’t flinch every time someone walks in the office or cringe anytime anyone asks me to do them a favor. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been asked to go down there. I usually make my own excuses so I can see Dad and get a little hockey fix. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
I’ve spent the last five days trying to force my night with Kodie Rivers out of my head and focus on work.
It’s not just the guys with a new season to prepare for. The anticipation is here in the offices, too.
We have social media campaigns to finalize, and graphics for the next few months to check over. All of our new season merchandise has already dropped in the store. Seeing it—and seeing fans buying it—is so rewarding. There is so much behind-the-scenes stuff that people overlook, and I fucking love being a part of it.
I love seeing what next season’s jerseys are going to look like before anyone else; I love getting involved with everything fans see on socials, on our website, and everywhere. Anytime I see a poster, or a t-shirt that I’ve had a hand in designing, a little thrill goes through me.
I might not be on the ice and wearing the pads, but I am still very much a part of this incredible hockey family.
No matter what, I always knew my future was going to be under this roof; it just took a few years for me to figure out my place.
The day I learned that I had secured an internship in the design department was one of the best days of my life.
Coming here every day, being surrounded by something I love so much...it’s everything.
Our first exhibition game is Monday, and I’m already buzzing for it.
It’s been a long few months without the excitement of a game after we failed to make the playoffs last year.
“Have a great weekend, Casey,” Bianca, my boss, says as she leaves the office for the weekend.
Aside from me, she’s the last to leave.
“You too,” I call before she disappears, leaving me alone in our office.
