Page 166 of Breaking the Pucking Rules
Maybe it was a one-off.
He’s had his fill today, and that’s all he needed.
Forcing myself to put my cell down, I slip lower in my bed and curl up on my side.
He’s just doing the right thing, Casey.
No matter how much you might want him, he’s not yours to take.
39
KODIE
We have two days before we get on a flight for our first road games of the season.
We won’t be back for two weeks.
My heart aches just thinking about the time away from my girl.
I hate leaving her, but there’s no other option.
She spins back around on the playground and waves, a beaming smile on her face.
I wave back, but my smile is nowhere near as genuine as hers.
It’s the same at the beginning of every season. It’s like I’m being ripped in two.
Sutton is my life. So is hockey.
This is how it needs to be.
I sit there long after she’s disappeared into her classroom, my thoughts running at a mile a minute. Just like they were last night.
I’ve barely slept, and I have no doubt it’s going to affect my performance today.
The guilt I’ve been battling to keep down threatens to explode.
Not only did I disrespect Coach last night, but I’m going to disappoint him today as well.
I’m a fucking embarrassment.
I fucked his daughter under his own roof.
The need to confess my sins burns through me.
But what good will it do?
I’ll find myself traded before I’ve even left his office.
He won’t want me around if he knows the kinds of thoughts I’m having about his little girl.
My stomach turns over. The thought of Sutton having to deal with men—players—in her future makes me want to give it all up and move to the middle of nowhere so it can be just the two of us.
I never really thought about how players treat the bunnies at the beginning of my career, when I was living the high life and fucking as many as I could. It was a part of the job. Work hard, play harder, and have the fucking stories plastered all over the internet. But then Sutton came along, and I took a good hard look at reality.
And I really didn’t like what I saw.
Closing my eyes, I rest my head back and take a breath.
