Page 53 of Duke's Daring Bookworm
“I—there’s a woman that works there, she has two young boys, and I give her money. She won’t just let me take care of her, she’s stubborn, but I know she needs more.” I tightened my arms around Lily as I spoke, willing her to stay and listen to my story, willing her to understand.
She froze in my arms, and I knew right then that she didn’t understand—that I didn’t explain it right.
“Are the boys… did you and she…” She didn’t seem to know how to ask, but I knew what she wanted to know. Were they mine?
“No.” That wasn’t the hard part, the part I kept close to me. “I don’t want children and never have.”
“Then why? I mean, you’re amazing, I know that, but why this woman and her children?” She had relaxed into me again, her hand petting my face like I was her faithful dog, and damned if I wasn’t willing to lie at her feet just to keep them warm.
This part, though, was the part I didn’t like to say out loud. Only a few people even knew what happened that day, and they were all as shaken as I was by it.
“Their father served with us. They never married, she didn’t want it, and she didn’t even find out she was pregnant until we were already there. He never met them before…” I shuddered at the images flashing through my mind. The tang of blood and dust filled my nose, but Lily’s hand was there, still petting me. I took a deep breath, pulled her close, and told her my story.
“He used to carry the ultrasound picture she sent him around with him everywhere, tucked away behind his vest. He would talk about what they were going to name them, how he was going to buy the biggest ring he could and begher to marry him, how excited he was when they found out they were having twin boys. He couldn’t wait to teach them to ride bikes and build them a tree house—said he was going to get some property out by his parents’ place for them to run around on and have chickens.”
The picture was an enticing one. I tried to imagine chicken shitting all over my family mansion and felt my ancestors roll over in their graves.
“He was just days from going home when we were ambushed. He didn’t make it.” I couldn’t say more. I couldn’t bring Lily—perfect, innocent, beautiful Lily into that world.
She was silent for a long time, still just running her hand along my face, absorbing my words.
“How many?”
“What?” That wasn’t at all what I expected to hear from her. If any other woman found out I, billionaire playboy, the Duke of Debauchery, gave money to a woman and her children, they wouldn’t have believed me, but here Lily is asking how many.
“How many families of your fallen brothers do you sponsor?”
“As many as will let me. Christmas, birthdays, money just because, references for work, jobs if they need them. I do whatever they will accept. I just wish they would accept more.”
I ran my hand up and down her back, drawing her close and breathing her in. She smelled like Lily, like home and comfort, and the stress of my memories melted away under it.
“Good.” I liked that she didn’t tell me I was a good person for doing this, or heap praise on me for doing the bare-fucking-minimum of taking care of the families of allthe men I couldn’t save. It wasn’t good of me. It was simply good. She said it like she wouldn’t accept anything less than me taking care of others.
“Duke?” she said again, sounding sleepier than before.
“Yeah, baby?”
“Why is one of my books on your nightstand?” I almost choked on the change in the direction of her thoughts.
“Research.” I’d snagged one that looked promising my first night there.
It was a historical romance, the cover an array of colors, the couple on it somehow lewd and classy all at once. They were posed for maximum drama, his shirt undone, her dress sagging at the shoulders and hiked up to show her legs. They leaned against a low couch in a library not unlike the one my family home boasted.Claiming the Wild Dukesplashed across the cover in bright, scrolling script that seemed to curl around and caress the couple. I couldn’t resist snagging it and devouring every page.
I’d spent more than one late night after work studying that book, picturing us as the couple, wondering if she touched herself while she read it, wondering if she thought of me.
Her breathing evened out while she was still in my arms and I did the only thing I could—kiss her head and hold her close, take every moment I could of this before this was over.
One month. Just friends.
Just heartbreak and devastation when this was done, but I could survive it if she was still my Lily at the end.
Chapter Twenty
The morning after my freak out dawned very early with Duke between my legs.
“Shh,” he said when I asked what he was doing. “I’m eating breakfast.”
“Oh!” His finger hit my g-spot, and I thought that this was probably the best way to wake up.
