Page 18 of Duke's Daring Bookworm
“Did you say you’re going to have sex with Duke?” Red painted the floor at her feet and splattered across the white cabinets and stainless steel. She didn’t move, so I stood and walked over to clean the mess before it stained. Or it drove me crazy. One of those was going to happen if I didn’t clean this up right now.
“That was my reaction,” Frankie said, still playing with the food she should have been cutting.
“No, it wasn’t. You laughed at me and then left me hungover and confused at the dining room table.” I rinsed out my rag and my mom finally moved to help me clean it up.
“Same thing.” She shrugged and finally started cutting that tomato.
“Yes, Duke and I are going to have sex. One month and we just go back to being friends.” I tried to be patient with them, but they didn’t seem to get it. “Do you think he wouldn’t want to have sex with me?”
Frankie snorted, but said nothing as she took her tomato slices to the salad.
“No, sweetie. No one thinks that. Of course, he would want to have sex with you. It’s just… surprising after so many years of friendship between you two.” She looked at me with pity. I think. I didn’t like the look. It made me feel like I wasn’t… normal. I didn’t need that right now. Not from my mother.
“How can it be both surprising and perfectly logical?” I lashed out in my frustration. Why did no one see how perfectly reasonable this was?
“We just want to make sure you’re sure about this,” she explained, as if that made her reaction better.
“He’s not exactly discerning in his choice of partners,”Frankie chimed in from her perch on her barstool, not helping with anything again.
“Exactly,” my mom said, pointing the sauce spoon at Frankie and splashing more marinara—on the counter this time.
I didn’t know what to make of that. Were they implying I was ‘just anyone?’ That the only reason he would do this is because he didn’t care who he had sex with? A little worm of doubt started wiggling in me, but I pushed it down. I picked him because of his experience, not despite it.
“Look, I’m thirty years old and I’m not looking for anyone’s permission. I just thought I would share something big with the other women in my life. Isn’t that what we are supposed to do?”
I snatched my phone off the counter and stomped over to the couch, done with them for now, and admittedly doubting myself.
I stared at my chat with Duke and wondered if I should text him and call this whole thing off. What if he saw me as just another woman to have fun with?
lily
can you get tested?
duke
I regularly do. want me to send my latest results over?
lily
Yes
I have an IUD
duke
I had a vasectomy years go
lily
good nobabies
Maybe I shouldn’t care. Maybe I should care and didn’t care enough. My grand plan didn’t seem so great right now, and anxiety warred with my previous resolve.
lily
what if this is a mistake?
duke:
